WOH and sleeping issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
WOH and sleeping issues
2315
Sun, 05-22-2005 - 10:34am

We were at a dinner party last night at the home of one of dh's coworkers. They have 2 boys, 6 and 4. They have a bunch of sleeping issues (kids 'scared' at night, won't fall asleep in their own bed, won't go to bed without mom or dad cuddling them, etc.) The mom blames herself because since she works all day and misses them so much she tends to cuddle with them late at night and they fall asleep in a pile on the bed all together. She said that if she SAH, they wouldn't have the same issues.


I sah. For us, bed time is a rigid, welcome respite at the end of the day. Dh has no desire to keep them up either, lol.

Meldi

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 11:59am
So I could just as easily say to you, "Where are your priorities?"

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Avatar for laurenmom2boys
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:00pm
It won't let me send you an e-mail. You might have to add me to your "friends" list by clicking on my profile and clicking on "add to friends." Or you can try to send me an e-mail.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:00pm

Sure, and I do sometimes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:01pm

It depends on what expectations we are speaking about.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:06pm

We moved back to MI a few years ago from CO. All our couple friends are friends of dh's before he left for CO. They all live where he grew up. We don't live there because it's a suburban wasteland full of strip malls and brand new subs without trees. So, we live out in a small town. All my own girlfriends live at least 40 mins away...I met them at work.


And let me tell you, it's been really hard to make new couple friends. I've found that once everyone is 'in the trenches' so to speak, it's really hard to work yet another obligation (like starting/maintaining a new friendship) into the mix. Believe me, I've tried to make plans with a few of the moms from mom's club, but most of their dh's travel for work and they are transplants themselves with babysitting difficulty.

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:07pm

That's dh's situation as well. He has 4 weeks but never takes it all. If he's not working, he's not making money. Sure, he gets paid vacation but it costs more than that in the end.


Meldi

Meldi
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:09pm
IMO there are some kids for whom a nap is more important. It does even out their moods. But really, how much beyond the age of 4 or 5 do kids really nap on a regular basis? Mine were all done with naps by 3.5, and one of them really, really needed them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:12pm
What kid wants to spend 14 hours with an adult who gets all bent out of shape because a 2 yr old didn't nap on command. Of course the child is 2 minutes from a meltdown - you're causing her stress and putting her on edge. Without a stressed mommy to deal with she'd be much much better off. So she missed her nap. Big huge whoop. Stay home if you want, stress your best because your 2 yr old won't nap on command, stress out both your children and enjoy the environment you've created for yourself. Or find something fun to do during the time your child used to nap because you know what - she is going to be tired during that time and she is not going to sleep. And she's going to progress to less, not more, sleep. Whether you like it or not. And she has to have an adjustment period. She doesn't need to spend that time sleeping. She needs to spend that time adjusting. You can respond by layering on the stress-mosphere and see how well that helps her adjust and how nicely she reacts. Or you can find something interesting for her to do that will get her mind off the fact that she's kind of tired, at lose ends, has a couple extra hours to fill and no idea what to do with them. You are the adult - you are supposed to be the one with ideas and the ability to deal with this stuff. She's actively learning from you how to deal with and react to change and stress. Whats she learning?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:12pm
I fully expect to be a quite happy person over the next 11 years regardless of how my child, husband and I spend them or what we accomplish during them. It sounds like you expect to be quite unsatisfied for the next dozen or so years because you are in hot pursuit of meeting goals X, Y and Z for your children, self and husband. Are my expectations lower or higher than yours?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 05-31-2005 - 12:13pm

Doesn't he ever take off after the end of the quarter? During slow times when the client isn't available? After the big end of fiscal year closing of the books?

My dh in sales has plenty of opportunity to take vacation. He doesn't always choose to take it and it bugs us that the timing isn't usually ours to decide, but he does have the opportunity. There is actually a certain office peer pressure to take vacation at his company. HR doesn't like people accruing huge amounts of vacation time.

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