WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
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Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 10:58am

And *I'm* supposed to take the time to go back through 900+ posts to spoon feed you what you've already had the opportunity to read the first time around? Why? The time I don't have is to sift through nearly 1000 posts, not to have a discussion with you. But in order to have that discussion, you should probably know what you're talking about/referring to, don'tcha think?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:04am

***Well...did you mean for my Dad to still be able to do his job, or is he supposed to just go on welfare?***

I'm not talking about your Dad and what he should/shouldn't could/couldn't do, I'm talking about your assumption that there is nowhere that exists in the whole of the nation that would accomodate his needs/job in a low COL area.

***Not everyone works a job that's immediately translatable to all places everywhere. Not even your dh with the imaginary hardware/software computer geek does both sides of the house job that hasn't existed since the mid 90s.***

Funny, I never said that DH could be transferred anywhere. What I said was that given his skills/experience he can find a job basically anywhere. He might be doing something different, but if it has to do with technology, he's capable of doing that.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:10am
Well, I love it. I really like kids, and it lets me work with them all day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:12am
No, Sue is the board hottie. I saw her picture, so I know. I haven't worked up the guts to post mine yet. Cocoapop made me think twice...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:13am
I just can't justify the costs of all those things right now. Asparagus runs, on a daily average, $3.98 a pound here. On sale its $2.98. When I see it uner $2 I buy it. Plus, at 8 and 4, my kids don't really appreciate it. Dd does a little bit, but not enough to justify the costs. I tend to cook quick andsimple during the week and then do one "gourmet" meal on the weekend. I do wish I could do more.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:18am

ITA.


Forgiveness isn't about the person being forgiven, its about the person doing the forgiving. Forgiveness doesn't absolve the perpetrator of wrongdoing, it doesn't make things right, it doesn't give them license to hurt again ... what it does is free the victim from letting that incident and that person control their lives and emotions. Its about saying "Yes, you did wrong, but I'm forgiving you because *I* want to move on. I'm not going to carry your burden anymore."


I'm getting there with xh ...

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:20am

Reasonable is defined as "Governed by or being in accordance with reason or sound thinking: Being within the bounds of common sense: Not excessive or extreme."

If it weren't within reason for them- why do it? The reason is obtaining the cost/lifestyle that they prefer, and they're able to do that by having a longer commute. Even if it is "something that sometimes has to be done", that's reasonable if that is what they want and what it takes to get it. Or don't you see doing things that have to be done as reasonable? As for excessive, that is entirely dependant on ones view of excess. IMO it's excessive to have to pay 350,000 for a small townhouse, yet apparantly alot of people do it. I'm not saying that alot of people *like* an hour commute- or paying 350,000 for a small townhouse- just that for alot of people, it makes sense to trade that time/money for the lifestyle and expenses that they want.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:25am
I think she means block heaters. I've heard from several car experts that putting a car in a garage in winter can actually be worse for the finish (rusting etc.) than leaving it outdoors. If there is a lot of salt on the car, the daily freeze-thaw cycle one gets from putting the car in a garage supposedly gives the salt a much better chance to work on the finish. All I can say is that we had one car, that never saw the inside of a garage mostly in brutally cold winter conditions, last for 15 years without any rust problems. Currently we have block heaters on both cars and it is heaven! The system is on a timer so we plug them in at night and they automatically turn on a couple of hours before we have to leave in the morning. The heating is enough to clear all the windows from ice that always accumulates at night and the engine starts out warm, which saves a fair bit in gas usage (not to mention being kinder on the engine in general). Snow would be an issue no matter what...we're stuck clearing our entire driveway before we have a hope of getting out, so having to clear the cars of a bit of snow is minor in comparison :-).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:28am

You're just too darn cute!


Sue

"Yes I'm talking to myself..I have important things to say to me!"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:31am

My opinion?

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