WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 1:04pm
Anything for the household goes into my $600 a month budget.

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Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 1:08pm
$598 a month? Wow. Ours is many times more than that...even with prop 13 here in CA.
And I have no *idea* where in CA you live that you can buy bread for .58 a loaf! I buy organic bread and its closer to $3 a loaf.
Orange juice is $5 a bottle; unsalted organic butter is $4; organic beef is $19 a pound; line caught wild salmon is $16 a pound...
And so on and so on...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 1:09pm

Has it never occurred to you that many people rent at low costs in order to save up for a downpayment or because they are looking at relocation for whatever reason within a time period that would make buying, well, in your terms, 'moronic'? Or perhaps because they are wanting to buy in a certain area but what they're looking for hasn't opened up yet? Or because they're young and just starting out? Or for any number of other reasons that *would* indeed make renting the more financially reasonable option for them at the time? Quite a few people rent in one area while saving to move into another. Or were you assuming that ones situation/income/housing costs would remain forever the same?

Here is an interesting look at when it is more reasonable to rent and when it is more reasonable to buy.

http://invest-faq.com/articles/real-es-rent-vs-buy.html

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 1:21pm

You are assuming that things like income/investments/savings/residence etc. will never change. I'm not tied to my house although so long as we are able I'd like to keep it. As we get older or are no longer capable of caring for the house, we intend to move into a condo downtown that offers things like maintenance etc. With the equity that we have already built into the house etc. we would be able to do so at either an outright purchase or a payment lower than our current mortgage.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 1:23pm

Actually, right now he's making just shy of 6 figures. Or are you presuming that just because we *have* lived on 40,000 that we *still* do? ;) Your mistake. Unless secretaries make an outrageous amount more in your neck of the woods than they do mine...

Wytchy

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 2:05pm

I am sure your kids are eating fine. Groceries is definitely an area where we could cut back without to much difficulty, if need be.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 2:06pm
So they're....poor? I'm arguing you can't be comfortable. I agree that a family can be poor at those income levels.
Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 2:10pm

I buy for 2 adults and 3 kids. My older kids eat a fair amount. We eat out 1-2 dinners a week. Dh and I eat lunch out on a daily basis and the kids mix buying and bringing lunch to school. We DON'T buy any diapers which really add to the cost of going shopping (I remember). And no pets. I am sure that the combination of another adult in the household, 2 dogs and diapers can easily account for $50-$75 per week. The rest is probably just different buying habits.

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 2:38pm

We won $1,000 from the State Liquor store contest. The grand prize! We used it for a new fridge. Oh my! What a fridge. It has everything except the TV. It arrives on Wednesday.

So see, liquor stores are good for something. ;-)

mom_writer

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 2:40pm
I live in between Sacramento and Redding on I-5. Closer to Redding than Sacramento. The housing situation is not typical, we got a fabulous deal because the seller (a neighbor when we lived in Santa Cruz) couldn't afford to put it on the market (if that makes any sense) nor could she afford to pay her mortgage, so she sold it to us for what she owed on it plus $3k. It is worth nearly double what we paid now. As for salmon... my dh catches about 2 or 3 35-40 pounders a year, so we smoke some, freeze some and we're set for the year. Costs $30. (Fishing license.. LOL) Our local grocery store is one of those bag your own grocery types. I could easily pay $2 a loaf if I were to drive 2 miles to Safeway.

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