WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
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Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 3:53pm
See now I consider just that attitude to be one of the main contributors to the divorce rate. The presumption that one adult can speak with 100% confidence for another. I'm just so sure that when you take two people who are that over confident, they are going to find all the other ways, besides abuse and infidelity, to make life h*ll for each other. Until one of them finally bails.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 3:59pm
Are you an actual practicing career person? I can't think of much that will give you that geopgraphical earning potential flat line. Heck, my income will varry by at least a factor of two simply based on industry. Let alone geography. And then there is reality. Few fields even offer lifetime 25-35 predictable ear career paths.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 4:05pm
Hey...did you steal my shopping list?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 4:06pm
Are you serious? A stranger may have more insights than you do about your kids but thay certainly isn't true in our situation. I make it a point to know my kids and know them very well.~Lisa
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 4:07pm
Yes, most days all 5 of us eat all 3 meals at home. If we ate all our lunches out, instead of the occasional one for DH and 1-3 for me...that would cut back on groceries but add up much more on going out costs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 4:09pm
ms doesn't get its *key* people that way. ms picks them up from key schools, and from their main competitors. the world is too full of programmers hacking out new solutions at the county level, for them to really bother. its just not *the thing*.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 4:09pm

Ah, I know the general area. Much cheaper than where we are. There is no store around here where you'd get 58c bread. I'm between Sacramento and the Bay area. Its a little college town...

MM

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 4:12pm
You might find that if your husband dies and you pick up a 1hr commute as a single parent...you won't find it so acceptable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 4:19pm

Personally? Not with two kids, no. My experience living on that amount has been before we had children- however knowing what our kids cost us in additional expenses, I know that yes- we *could* live comfortably. However, I know of more than a couple of people who have *with* children. And while I may not know all of the intimate details of their financial lives, I do know that they have between 1 and 4 children with an age range between newborn and 27 and all consider themselves comfortable. Three are helping children through college and I know that we've talked retirement with at least two. And while I'm not saying by any means that I know everyone in my area making that income, I see that it *can* be done in our area.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 4:31pm
My point is exaclty what I stated in my last paragraph.

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