WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 8:39pm

Just a note on the clothes issue- most of ours are Christmas & birthday gifts from our parents/siblings/grandparents- either the clothes themselves or money *for* them...

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 8:44pm

Some people think that SAH *IS* best *for their family- barring situations of what they would consider financial necessity (which would be their view of it) and so much so that some may even do it despite personally preferring a job outside the home, realizing that once the kids are in school or in college that they can always WOH *then*.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 8:49pm

Whenever did I say that one could fully fund either retirement or college on those figures? You assume that ones income, budget and savings would remain unchanged over the years.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 8:49pm

Laura, my dh grew up in Cupertino - right off Bubb Road.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 8:57pm
My cousin just bought a house in Los Gatos. Talk about expensive! I think it was somewhere in the multiple millions. My in laws live in the Santa Cruz mountains, bought their house in 1989 for $225k, and last year someone came in off the street and offered them a million for it. Crazy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 9:32pm
Yes, one typically debates opinions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 9:34pm
Yes, we agree - again - that it's possible. The debate was about "comfortable".
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 10:31pm

Produce absolutely costs less in other places. If a state can provide items from local farmers, its going to cost less than places (like where I live, lol) that requires items to be shipped.


Grocery flyer this week- the best deal is on apples for .89 lb. Strawberries are on sale for $3.00lb. Broccolli usually runs about $2.50lb, mushrooms $3.50lb. Peppers-now THOSE can be outrageous, red and orange peppers are $2.50 each!! And avocados are about 1.50 each on average.


I think I spend about $80/wk on groceries, plus another $100 a month at Costco. That includes all toiletries, etc. and we eat all 3 meals at home the majority of the time.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:17pm

How do you know?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 11:18pm

Oh....what kind of wine?

PumpkinAngel

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