WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 6:55am
But the houses in Palo Alto are worth that much IMO. (Maybe not $5m, but more like $3m since the lots aren't too big!) I used to visit Palo Alto a lot (an old boyfriend lived there) and if the rest of the country were as beautiful, we'd all be much happier. (My spirits just plummet when I wake up to a cold, rainy New Eng. morning.) That area is heavenly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 6:56am
When all three of my girls are home we go through one gallon a day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:05am

Sniff! I have got to get home this Christmas! Palo Alto is wonderful, especially on the side near Stanford. Most of those hills are protected areas and have wonderful bike paths. In fact, biking was one of the P.E. electives I took in high school and hands-down my favorite. 3-4 a week, the whole class took off and biked through the hills on one side or the wetlands on the other. I took that city so much for granted growing up, but I really miss it these days....

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:10am

Thanks for finding your way through the thread! I don't have IV premium, so for me it's a challenge. No more with this thread. But anyway... in the Bay State, 25% college attendance out of H.S. is considered alarming. It's unusual here. My DD's H.S. has 90-something percent going on to some kind of college. As for the so-called ease of supplementing education, I've been following this discussion.

I really don't know what these posters are talking about with that. I have all I can do to help my ADHD DD unscramble her backpack and desk, meet with and email teachers, get the 2 DDs to quit fighting over the computer for "research", correcting their essays, and all the other things parents do for their kids. I can't do more. I have to trust their school. I figure if most of the kids are going to college, maybe mine will, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:12am

I don't have a weekly grocery bill. I shop every two weeks (with small trips in between
for perishables). What I spend can really vary because I stock up when I see good deals. Mine also varies because we the size of the family I am feeding varies. I spend a lot more on groceries during the summer when all 5 of us are home and the DDs are eating lunch at home than during the school year when there is just three of us and DD3 eats lunch at school.

This week I shopped at two stores. One for its sales and my day to day store for everything else. At the first store I spent about $56. A lot of it was meat and I did some stocking up. At the other store I spent $142.30.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:18am
Emotional distance isn't a necessity when it comes to discipline. If it were you'd have a valid point. I see emotional connections as a positive in the lives of young children.Loving discilpline is preferable to me.~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:20am

Oh, I remember bike paths! Don't they even have paths on the main roads because so many people bike to work? That's so healthy.

I feel bad for someone like you who got to live there as a child and no longer does. It's in your blood. At least I'm used to dreary, rainy, yucky winter days.

Let's all ditch the kids with our DHs and meet up with the Calif. girls (Myshka, Charlesmama, momwriter, et al.) and the rest of the board next Christmas. I'm being completely serious here!! Just tell me when and where to make my reservations. Your house??? LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:23am
You surmise wrong. I have an almost 13 year old daughter. I also have kids ages 9,5 and 3.Experience isn't the only teacher thank God. Did it ever occur to you if that were the case no one could possibly be a good parent unless they were raising kids the second time around? Furthermore, no one could be good at any job starting out, which is probably a comparison you'd better understand anyhow.~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:23am

ITA.

My dad used to say that when a grandparent buys a child clothing for Christmas that is not a present for the child but one for the parent because they have saved spending their own money to clothe their child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:31am
I'm feeding four girls ages 12,9,5, and 3 and my dh. My kids eat TONS of food. I buy a lot of health food. I think that is part of the reason we spend so much. I KNOW I can cut down, it's just a matter of making myself do it. I love to cook and feed my family wholesome foods. It's really like a hobby to me.:-)~Lisa

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