WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:37am
To clarify: I do NOT think that all childcare providers are strangers. I think they can be like a second family. I used to be a dc provider myself and was very close to the children in my care. I was responding to QMs assertion that there were people better qualified to be a mom to my kids than me.~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 7:50am

"Oh, I remember bike paths! Don't they even have paths on the main roads because so many people bike to work? That's so healthy."

Even way back when, there were tons of bike paths everywhere. We biked through the whole city on a daily basis with no problems and people were also respectful of bicyclists.

"Let's all ditch the kids with our DHs and meet up with the Calif. girls (Myshka, Charlesmama, momwriter, et al.) and the rest of the board next Christmas. "

Sounds cool! I'll let you all know if I manage to make it out next Christmas, I'd say it's a better than 50-50 chance at the moment. Only problem is....I don't have a house there anymore. But there are some GREAT restaurants and cafes all up and down the bay area :-).

Laura

Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:07am
I guess I'll have to tell my friends who work for Microsoft that. Or maybe they only think they work for Microsoft?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:08am

Considering that he is the one both doing the commute and who made the final decision on the house we purchased as well as the ones we looked at (within an hour of the city) as well as our having had that discussion, then I believe I would be talking from his preference/perspective. We looked at houses closer and some even less money in equally family-friendly neighborhoods, but *both* of us preferred the outer suburbs. Since he was the one both working and commuting, he got the final say in where we ended up. Since he's an early bird *anyway* and he gets home around 4 (earlier than most 9-5'ers) *and has flexibility with his schedule (noone breathing down his neck if he's ;ate or takes off early) then for him it makes sense as far as the tradeoff. And riding the bus in, he can read/relax/etc.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:19am

Out in the country often families will either raise a single animal (or more) and slaughter themselves (or have someone do it for them). Others go in with other families for, say, half a cow, and split the cost. I'd imagine that independant butchers would/could be able to sell that way, or if one knows a local farmer. (Around here there are plenty LOL) One stores it by using a seperate freezer- a big one ;) One example of the cost estimates. These may even be cheaper depending on where/how one gets it etc. But I think it's about average.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:29am

*Applause* :)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:34am
ROFL...my kids, especially my daughter, would disagree.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:35am
It was much harder when DH and I both had long commutes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:35am

Ironically, my grandmother has only given clothing or money for educational funds for presents.

Virgo
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:38am
No, I believe you and that's fabulous. I plan to retire around age 62 (my younger DS will still be in college until I'm 59).

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