WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
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Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:40am
Yes, I know that, but it's the SAH preference expressed exactly in this post that I simply cannot relate to.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:42am

:) Don't get me wrong, I'm sure it *is* reasonable and not at all excessive to those in your area/market etc. But I've always lived where 300,000+ homes were "McMansions" and 30-60 min commutes were pretty standard LOL ;) As for DC... I LOVE visiting, used to have family there, but I couldn't do the beltway every day to *live/work* there LOL! ;) If I think that Pittsburgh traffic is a nightmare, there is NO WAY I'd consider doing it in DC ;) But it is an absolutely *gorgeous* and VERY interesting/active place to live no doubt! :) I can certainly see why those who live there enjoy it :)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:45am
The boys each got one article of clothing from my ILs for Valentine's Day, but also books, a game and a DVD.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:45am

At the time, I believe we had around $10000 in the bank as well as some investments. Not a huge amount for an established older family, but for a younger 20-something I think it was "good".

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:46am

I think it depends on the sex and the age of the kid.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:49am

Example of what I'm thinking about:


Joey is really fighting us on taking naps these days (he's 3 years and 4 months old). He naps 9 days out of 10 for our nanny.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:51am

And the North Hills is one of the more expensive places to live- at least house-cost wise. We looked out there when we first got married and *good grief* LOL! ;) As for things to do- I guess it depends on what one likes to do. I'm a big hockey fan, so we went to alot of games, there is a good cultural district with theatres etc. which was always fun, some museums, comedy clubs, a science center with an Omnimax (great laser concerts ;) and there we were only about an hour from family, so we did alot with them on weekends. Also, having family in the country around there, we did alot of walking through the country which was nice. And the parks around the South Hills area were great... But I guess we could probably be pretty boring people LOL

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:53am

Just to jump in here--no one in my family drinks milk (not from a cow, or a say bean, or rice). Well, to revise, sometimes the kids like sweatended soybean drink as a snack, but it is not a staple of our diet.

I do buy calcium fortified OJ, and each kids drinks a cup of that a day. And they eat dark green veggies every single say. Plus, between bread, eggs, tofu, legumes, etc., they get pleny of calcium a day.

It may be a cultural thing, but the culture I was raised in, and the culture my dh comes from--people just don't use dairy products in daily cooking anmd eating. And yet, whole countries manage to exist without calcium deficiencies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:57am
I don't allow my kids to manipulate me, maybe that's the difference?~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 8:57am

Don't get me wrong. I've given clothing as presents for nieces and nephews and my family have bought clothing as presents for my kids. But the clothes that get given as gifts in my family are usually picked out on the basis of "oh how cute, wouldn't xxx look just adorable in that?", not on the basis of "hmmm, I know that those kids are going to need some pants, shirts and sweaters to get them through winter so I'd better stock up for them and give it to them for their birthday". The latter scenario is what I mean by depending on presents of clothing to outfit a child. Personally, I am such a sucker for cute kids' clothes that I've been known to send stuff out to nieces and nephews long before birthdays or christmas with no other excuse than "it was just so darned cute" :-).

Laura

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