WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:30am
Any thing bought for a child represents a financial savings to a parent. They can only use so many outfits. They can only use so many toys.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:32am

Probably not, but that's when we'd consider moving. Probably back to where our extended family lives to replace the loss of the house with the addition of loving extended family. And since I have a guaranteed job back there (my father owns his own business) and I could get land for free and put in a house (my parents own oodles of land in the middle of nowhere) then it's a very workable plan for us.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:34am
Yeah, it is. NOTHING worse than that *this hurts me more than it hurts you* parental mindset.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:36am
I would assume my 3 yo got the impression from me somehow that it was negotiable. I would demonstrate that it wasn't negotiable by putting her down for a nap and expecting her to take one.~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:38am
No. Its as I stated. Horse girl didn't downsize. She gave up completely. Clearly, some people are much more able to trivialize the sacrifices of others, while at the same time, way over sizing the impact of their own sacrifice. My cousins grew up without indoor plumbing. All six of them are in their late 30s to early 40s and entirely healthy. Indoor plumbing is a matter of convenience - nothing more. And anyone who thinks otherwise is really very very spoiled.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:39am
Who, other than you would define it that way? You prefer not to be impacted at all apparently.....shrug.~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:40am
Hitch a ride with friends. Or ride a bike. Build a log cabin and live in it for all I care. Should cost you just about nothing. Indoor plumbing is a convenience. The cost of propertly noone wants is almost nothing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:44am

<>

LOL Not if it's an American Girl Doll and her furniture! No way would I ever have bought that for my DDs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:44am

That sucks :( I'm so sorry :(

Just for my own curiosity- (and feel free not to answer!) there were no signs that this was a threat? Your communication was wonderful, you were close and "lovey" with each other? Sex life was good? Made time for each other? Both seemed equally happy and satisfied in all areas of your life together? Finances were good? No ongoing 'issues'? Just curious...

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 9:45am
If indoor plumbing were necessary for health the human species would have died off the minute it existed. And its not necessary in my society. In fact, we are allowed to spend as much time as we want or can afford, having fun and recreating, specifically without it.

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