WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 10:22am
My son LOVES getting clothes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 10:24am

I'm currently a WOHM & honestly, no, I don't see a benefit to it for my child(ren). If I want to be financially independent of my dh, I could try to WAH or figure out a way to be there for my child(ren) more & still find a way to earn $$.

I agree that I don't want any daughters that I / we may to feel that they must rely on a man to make a living.. but I think that they can learn to be financially independent by getting a job when they are teenagers.

For me - the only reason I don't want to WOH is because I have a child. If I didn't have a child, I could be financially independent without a problem - because of the work ethic instilled in me from the time I was very young.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 10:37am

>>Okay..then explain to me the difference between a family choosing a higher priority and how its not considered better in their eyes? How isn't higher....better?<<

Are you joking me? Care to explain to me how someone can have a SAHP and NOT have it as a high priority? Of course I (for example) think SAH is better FOR MY FAMILY in my eyes. You obviously think working is a higher priority than SAH.... does that mean you think it's a superior choice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 10:40am
Very, very similar where I grew up. So few people here even realize they have, and take for granted, so much more than the average American (who likely doesn't stress about it half as much as the people here).
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 10:41am

I have to say that I am floored by the number of boys out there who love clothes for presents. Ds would be very polite about it and would continue hunting secretly for the "real" present. Dd, otoh, would be over the moon at the sight of anything pink/purple and glittery. But then ds is still picking out his own clothing under protest....if it were up to him, I'd be picking everything out for him every day. Anything that is covers his body and doesn't scream "girl" will do.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 10:45am
Dh's new job is in Redding, so that is where we are house hunting. Don't hesitate to pop me an email if you're in the area ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 10:59am
The issue is with the wisdom of the month to month version of financial planning, not with the wisdom of renting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 11:00am
Try looking up "meat locker" in the phone book. Also, if there is a butcher shop in town you could try calling them and asking if they know where you could purchase whole animals. They've got to have something somewhere; I mean, there was a meat locker in Santa Cruz where 50% of the population belonged to PETA. LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 11:00am
I prefer not to hyjack my kids' lives and treat them as my own experiences.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Tue, 02-15-2005 - 11:04am
Well as per below - you do let your children manipulate you. If you can discipline one and really think it hurts you more than it hurts them - you have been manipulated. Your willingness to express that sentiment to the child, indicates that you are also trying to manipulate your child. So we know where the kids get it from.

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