WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
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| Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am |
Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"
Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.
I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.
Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.
Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.
Sabina

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Sigh. YOU are the one who originally claimed as nonsensical the statement that "work in itself doesn't teach the value of work". Perhaps I have completely lost touch with the English language these days, but this would seem to imply that you are arguing that work in itself DOES teach the value of work....in other words, that by the mere act of working, a WOHM teaches her daughter the value of working. Moreover, you would appear to be arguing that there are no circumstance under which a woman working would not be teaching the value of work (after all, this suggestion is nonsensical according to you). That is a pretty broad statement. Now if you would like to take back your remark that the statement that "work in itself doesn't teach the value of work" is nonsensical, what you are saying now might make some sense. As it is, I've asked you several times to clarify your "nonsensical" remark and you have not. Care to explain now what you meant by "nonsensical"?
"I didn't make that claim, either. I merely made the claim that a woman, such as myself, *might* be teaching a child the value of financial independence. Couldn't that possibly be true?"
Why do you need constant reassurance on this point? I have already said that it is perfectly possible. Others have said that it is perfectly possible. Do you need to hear it again? Ok.....It is perfectly possible that a woman such as yourself might be teaching a child the value of work and financial independence. I've never said otherwise.
Laura
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Why are you being so defensive? If you were to tell me that you hope to instill a sense of independence in your daughter by having her get a job, I wouldn't turn it around and say, "I don't want my daughter to have a job as a teen, but that doesn't mean that I'm not doing what I can to instill independence in her."
Double sigh.
<< that work in itself DOES teach the value of work.>>
No. That work in itself , if accompanied by some other factors, CAN teach the value of work
<<.I have already said that it is perfectly possible.>>
I read back through your posts, and I don't think you actually did. But others did.
<< you would appear to be arguing that there are no circumstance under which a woman working would not be teaching the value of work>>
No, I never said that.
I don't need reassurance. I just made the modest claim that working might teach my daughters something about financial independence. I was just wondering if anyone agreed with me. Some do, some don't.
How is disagreeing with you being defensive???
And yes, stating that you know *some sahms* who are dependent and weak does kind of imply that you think this is a general standard.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
Well, SAH or WOH is in a sense a false dichotomy. Many of us do both sequentially or at the same time. I'd like to suggest that it's possible to discuss either SAH or WOH separately sometimes. That way, the merits of each can be more fruitfully explored. Not the relative merits, but the merits of each.
Sabina
Skills to fall back on, iow a skill that they can be paid for if the need ever arises. In my opinion though, a woman does need certain skills to be a good sahm.~"
I'm confused. Are you going to hope your children have skills to "fall back on" with the idea that your DD at least will be a SAHP? Or are you going to encourage her to develop skills to use in the real world and then she'll have them in case she *never* gets married, or is the sole bread winner, or chooses to WOH?
As far as skills to be a good SAHP. I agree. Good parents do need to develop certain skills. They are generally learned through our own experience as children growing up...and then augmented along the way.
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