WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
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| Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am |
Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"
Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.
I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.
Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.
Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.
Sabina

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But thats just reality for most people. If something happened to dh OR I, I would fully expect to have to sell the house and the horses (if I had them-do you have any idea how hideously expensive horses are to keep???). I certainly wouldnt be crying woe is me because I couldnt maintain my standard of living. I'd be happy I had a house to sell, buy a smaller house or condo, and let my kids take ballet lessons at the Y instead of a posh private school.
And she doesnt sound like a great money manager if she couldnt have figured out a way to make that 350k work for her. Our policies are enough to pay off our house if need be (although as I said, chances it would end up being sold). They should have planned better.
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
That, and she couldn't make do on a $350K life insurance policy.
My DH's life insurance policy is less than that, and I wouldn't have to sell our house.
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PNJ, I've been supporting myself since age 17. I moved out on my own when I was a Junior in high school. No matter what happens, I know I'll always be able to support myself. And I've made damn sure that if I ever have to go back to FT corporate, I'll be making a very comfortable salary -- enough so DS and I could keep our standard of living.
mom_writer
Did the article say why she couldn't make it on the insurance policy? And how much did they owe on the house? How big was it? If downsizing meant going from McMansion to a smallish ranch, and that is considered a negative, well, I guess I live in a different type of world. I would be happy my kids *had* a home.
mom_writer
Where did the insurance money go? Couldn't she have paid off the house? and then with no mortgage payment, 37K should be pretty good, especially if there are no longer horses to care for ... Not to mention SSI survivor benefits.
There were more issues here than just her ability to earn only $37K.
Sometimes its the *previous* life that is unrealistic rather than the new one.
Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.
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