WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 4:27pm
Exactly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 4:29pm
No I don't. I've BTDT, quite recently if you recall. We downsized big time, went from an own to a rent situation. And while I miss the size it has by no means been traumatic. The loving environment I've created/maintained for my children is far more important than if I'd been able to bounce right back into a 2500 sf house with a pool.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 4:30pm

Lol, why would selling ones home have to be *traumatic*??? Unless they are moving into a studio apartment or travel trailer. People buy and sell homes all the time-look at military families who move every 4-6 yrs. I know a couple who just moved into their 5th home. Not everyone buys *one* house and lives in it till they die.


And again, they must have been pretty poor planners, and/or she has no business sense if she couldnt make 350k work for her.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 4:34pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 4:34pm

Nope, not at all. If we could live in the same town and my kids go to the same

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 4:40pm
Yes, I do think it's rare. Who the hell buys *horses* on a $110K salary? That's ridiculous. Who the hell has a $350K+ mortgage on a $110K salary?
Congratulations! I'm so happy to hear it. I just heard the good news and popped back over, just in case you were still checking in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 4:40pm

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Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 4:41pm
Given their income disparity and the age of their children, they should have had more life insurance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 4:41pm
That's pretty common out here.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 4:44pm
Yes, very traumatic.

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