WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 6:29pm

Yes- they should have- but the point I think is more that she *could* have done alot with 350,000 and an almost 40,000 income. It doesn't sound *at all* like she *did*.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 6:31pm

Wow. Out here you can get a McMansion for 350,000. Heck, we have a beautiful home in a desireable area and it only cost us 128,000!

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 6:31pm

The line I was debating was:

"I was just making the point that I want my kids to be able to support themselves well when they grow up."

In what way does you working enable your children to support themselves well as adults? What enables someone to support themselves well is experience/education. Your children's experience/education not yours. Your working does not give them that.

Also aren't you married and if so doesn't that mean that you are not completely supporting yourself? I know that married couples have many different ways of handling their money but do you really keep your income completely seperate so that you get absolutely no gain from your DH's income.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 6:43pm
When it comes to COL, everything is relative, for sure.
Mondo Mom

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 6:44pm

<>

Well, why can't my WOH be a part of that? What's wrong with that? They tell me they're proud of my work and how I juggle everything to WOH and still help take good care of them.

My DH and I always pool our money. But I make more than he does. If he and I weren't married, I would be well able to support myself. I think it would be nice for my girls if they could say the same someday. Their choice, of course.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 6:52pm

Woh ft would not have avoided that trauma. Because if they were living beyond their means already, you can bet they would have been living even MORE beyond their means with 2 incomes. They made poor financial decisions, plain and simple. They could have *avoided the trauma* by being smarter about money and planning better.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 6:54pm

That could be me Few differences, I make about $19,000 working full time, we have more insurance and DH's income is a bit less, we don't have horses (I think that we could probably afford to hold on to the dog and hamsters) or DDs in ballet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 7:01pm
But you have no idea how long those kids lived in that house.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 7:01pm

Then perhaps one might do well to consider an area where the cost of living isn't so over the top. Around here $40,000 is about average. One could definately afford a nice suburban home in a good school district on that.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-10-2005 - 7:09pm
Sorry, but WOH doesn't convey financial knowledge. Obviously, because her WOH husband planned pretty poorly for something like this.

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