WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:20pm
I don't know -- the article didn't say.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:21pm
And don't forget those of us who need, indeed crave, living near the ocean. There is no way in hell I could live more than a half hour from a major body of water. I would die. Plus it's so wonderful to take DS and the dogs out for a walk on the beach on "warm" winter mornings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:23pm

Or how about leaving a stable job?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:24pm
I'm sorry, and I don't mean this to be personal, but aren't you the one who believes in some sort of marital "magic"? How can you blame this woman for believing in the Cinderella fairytale? You believe parts of it yourself. You just happen to work, is all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:26pm
It's a big universe.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:29pm

Thanks for posting that. Somehow it doesn't sound legitimate when a working Mom says it (or so I get the feeling).


I put stability over having a SAH.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:33pm

Again, you need to reread my posts on the subject. I still stand by everything I said. Your work status is not the issue.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:36pm

Why are you so adamant about that?

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:37pm
What do you mean by "odd"? It's all a matter of degree. My husband grew up on a farm on which he and his dad worked for many, many years. A family thing, the farm being passed through the generations. He is going through something pretty significant, having to bury a part of it, old farmhouse, ancient trees, the whole lot, selling the family farmhouse. And yes, it looks traumatic to me from my end. Odd considering the connection to the land, trees, outbuildings? Not even, considering that farm and those generations survived through blizzards, tornados, etc., etc. Considering his dad, and dad's family, and the generation of farmers are now dead. Considering there will be no more farming by the current generation. Considering what those things meant to him. It's human.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 12:39pm

Can you please take a second to post to me the connection of this series of posts to the OP, if any? I'm trying but I can't figure it out.

Sabina

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