WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 2:43pm
Not couldn't, wouldn't. And he did (this was long before we were married).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 2:44pm

Where would it be a reasonable living wage?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 2:47pm
Not the "get married and never have to worry about finances" part of Cinderella.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 2:47pm
While you didn't post those exact words, comments like the one I quoted suggest that you don't have a great deal of respect for sahp's in general. As for your original post, I'll take you at your word that you weren't "thinking" of sahm's. But when you raise the issue of the effects on children of having a wohm, you should realize that one way of measuring those effects is to compare the situation to one where there isn't a wohm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 2:47pm

What do you consider comfortable?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 2:50pm

OT- Have you seen Shrek2?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 2:50pm

That is a 'want', not a *need*. You would not "die". If you honestly think that you would literally die, and that you "couldn't" live anywhere else if need/circumstance arose, you must live a very sheltered/pampered/spoiled life. ;)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 3:01pm

... Did I miss something? Is your DH a sahd?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 3:10pm

My DH chose a career that offered a broad availability of employment so that it allowed him to find well paid work basically anywhere he wanted to go. Because he wanted the lifestyle of a single wage earning spouse with a parent at home, this was important to him.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 02-11-2005 - 3:16pm

In my neck of the woods here in Ohio and where I grew up in Pa it would be a comfortable living wage for suburbia. In fact, DH was making about 10,000 less than that when we were first married and living in suburban Pa. and we could have provided for a family on what he made. Maybe not a family of 6, but for us and the two kids we have now- sure :) No, we couldn't have gone out to dinner alot or had much spending money for the 'fun' stuff, but we could have made do and had a comfortable happy life.

Wytchy

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