WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
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| Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am |
Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"
Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.
I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.
Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.
Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.
Sabina

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Able to provide for life's necessities in a safe neighborhood with a functional/decent school system and have a bit left over for some of the fun things in life. But then, I'm not of the mind that horses, ballet lessons and 3000 sq ft homes are necessary for happiness or comfort :)
Wytchy
So is this 37K net or gross?
PumpkinAngel
<< Why wouldn't it be traumatic to know that your family was no longer living there?>>
I can't even answer that question, because I can't understand what would be traumatic about that. My family is still living, after all. It would be nice to be able to take the boys back to the home their mom grew up in, but it's such a minor consideration. I see my family all the time -- in fact, the move was very nice because now we are 2 hours closer to my parents, and we get to see them more often now.
It's also nicer for my parents, who have a smaller home and yard to keep up. The move has been fantastic for them, actually. They were in a rut in the old town. Since they moved, my mom has started serious running and working out and very meaningful volunteer work (she's a Eucharistic minister for the local hospital, and goes there every Saturday to give out communion, including on Christmas day). She has truly blossomed in the new town. My father is also much happier. They go on birdwatching hikes and canoe trips together, they seem more in love than ever, and are just more content together. I have absolutely no claims on the way they live their lives, frankly, and they would be disappointed in me if I presumed to feel "traumatized" that they chose to make this move for themselves. It's none of my business. They have done enough for me. They don't owe me anything else at this point.
When my older sister moved to Switzerland, taking my niece and nephew, who are very close in age to my kids, I felt traumatized. I miss them. I miss my sister. But I don't miss the physical house we all lived in together.
I found all sorts of things traumatizing as a child. The death of my beloved grandmother. The death of my dog. The death of my hamster, who lived to an insanely old age (5+ years). The time my older sister cut my bangs to about 1/4" long. The time I had a crush on John W., and he didn't have a crush on me back.
Normal, healthy childhoods include broken hearts and trauma. Not "feeling" things the way you did as a child is not indicative of a blissful early life, IMO.
I have a much different idea of what our necessities are and while not grand by any means, I know they could not be provided on $37K a year.
PumpkinAngel
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