WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
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Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 3:10pm

IMO It just doesn't seem at all healthy, spiritually or otherwise, to to base ones sense of spiritual livelihood on "places" or "things". But then, that's me... I'm not so dependant upon things, places, etc. for my happiness or sense of self/contentment/fulfillment. *shrugs* Would I miss leaving my "place" or losing my "things"? Sure I would. But it wouldn't "kill" me- spiritually or otherwise. And I rember asking for clarification regarding the 'dying' comment and receiving an affirmative answer. I'm not going to go back through 300 posts or so to find it, but I don't think I was mistaken when it was written as *dying* and after asking for clarification that terminology hadn't changed. Spiritual or otherwise, the point remains that some people have a rather inaccurate idea of what constitutes *need* versus what constitutes *want*.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 3:15pm
How is that a foolish claim? Obviously I am going to look out for the best interests of my kids better than a stranger. I find it odd that you think a stranger can do that better than you can, frankly.~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 3:17pm

Rare to you maybe....but I know quite a few who have only house and car debt...plus quite a few more that don't have any long term debt at all.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 3:22pm
Exactly.~Lisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 3:26pm
Oh, no, you misapprehend. I've said several times, her emotional state was what it was, doesn't make any difference to me how she handled it. I (and a number of others) are just curious as to how someone can manage to get to the age of 21 and be "traumatized" by the sale of a house. Seems uncharacteristic for her. (If it were you, that would be a whole 'nother story.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 3:29pm

The hypothetical situation was brought up of trying to compare living on 40,000 with 350,000 in insurance pay out to living on 12000 with a 100,000 insurance payout. That's what I was replying to at the time.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 3:32pm

Yes. Attachment, normal and healthy, and sadness and even some mourning? To be sure. "Trauma" implies something more like gnashing of teeth and tearing of hair and beating one's breast in agony.

Maybe certain people are just using the term "trauma" a tad loosely. I'd hate to think there were so many people out there who would be emotionally injured by (gasp) their parents moving (I could be wrong, but I don't even think out of town).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 3:36pm

Now that you have gotten that anger out of your system....care to tell me what your little off topic

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 3:38pm
Thank god for great health insurance. The cost for baby and I in the hospital totalled out at more than $75k. I didn't have to pay a dime out of pocket. I think we'd be in big trouble now if I had to pay a %!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 3:46pm
sorry, changed my mind. TMI


Edited 2/12/2005 3:50 pm ET ET by charlesmama1

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