WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 8:46pm

I'm sure that's at least part of the case. :) Couple that with a highly charged issue, as this one is in our society, unfortunately, and this is what you get...... LOL

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 8:53pm

I can do it on $75 a week (I don't currently, as we eat out a few times a week and eat *well* when we eat at home). How?


Watching sales and planning your menu around what is on sale. Buying family packs. Stretching recipes with extra rice or corn instead of meat.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 8:54pm

***The fact that I need to live within an hour's drive of the ocean for my own spiritual fulfillment does not make me *spoiled.****

Ah, but you changed your statement here. The key addition being "for my own spiritual fulfillment". Before it was just "need".

Again, you will not *die* if you don't live near the ocean. You just wouldn't have the level of spiritual fulfillment/satisfaction/happiness that you would otherwise. And I'd venture that despite the shock to your system and unhappiness with the situation, if you had no other choice you could learn to find a different sort of fulfillment in something/somewhere else. So no, that is not spoiled- unless you were putting that desire above more practical matters such as real necessities. (food/clothing/shelter- elements of survival).

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 8:55pm

I've never said otherwise. What *is* your point?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 9:00pm

...Some people wouldn't be comfortable *anywhere* on even 200,000/yr... Perhaps some people need to learn how to live happily with less "stuff" in their lives... *shrugs*

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 9:05pm

Would you go on welfare?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 9:14pm

No, in my area $2500/month wouldn't even cover housing. I cannot imagine how a family can eat meat, fresh produce and dairy on $75 a week. I doubt that anyone gets family health insurance coverage for $75 a week if they're only earning $37k a year. I'll give you the rent difference, but the original poster was talking about owning, which does include all upkeep and repair bills (as does renting if that's what your lease says).

And again, even if you can make it under the wire at that amount of money, absolutely everything has to go perfectly. One large, unbudgeted expense and the family won't be able to pay for housing or groceries.

That's not living comfortably.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 9:16pm
You were so dismissive of other posters' wants I assume you'll agree that yours is equally self-indulgent.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 9:18pm

Ummm, who said anything about "stuff"?


For me, "comfortably" includes mental wellbeing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sat, 02-12-2005 - 9:23pm

You're the one that said *rent* ... not me. I was going by the standards you set forth.


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That's why I said it is a geographical bias on your part. Shoot, I have a nice (but small) 3bd house on almost 1/2 an acre and my mortgage is less than $750 a month.


Xh only made right at $40k when he started working for the govt. His insuarnce coverage, for the whole family, has never been over $100 a pay period. Receptionists making $7.50 an hour get the same insurance coverage as the boss making $80K a year. Your salary has nothing to do with your ins benes; your employer does.


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I've done it. Shoot, if we didn't eat out at all right now, I'd be doing it on right at $100 ... maybe even less.


<<(as does renting if that's what your lease says).>>


Not in Oklahoma. Landlord/tenant acts require landlords to be responsible; they can't write the lease (legally) to say otherwise.


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Still disagree. I've seen families do it. They didn't have college funds, but

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

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