WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
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| Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am |
Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"
Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.
I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.
Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.
Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.
Sabina

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Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
Really?
PumpkinAngel
Month is a typo...I meant week, like Hollie was saying.
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
Okay...I feel better.
PumpkinAngel
I have actually been spending less lately, as for Christmas my dad had a hog butchered for us (he has been raising them).
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
Sorry...I think I have finally caught up with this thread...
PumpkinAngel
OMG!!! I know!!!
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
***It is all a matter of risk as I said previously.***
With proper planning that risk is minimal.
***They went without health insurance while her DH was unemployed.***
One can plan for that, and while one may not be able to have a 100% guarantee on *anything*, one cuts their risks dramatically- certainly no more than a dual woh family, with proper planning such as having enough in savings to cover expenses and stop-gap insurance (COBRA is one option) between jobs.
***Do you support families taking state aid so one of the parent's stay home?***
Depends on the situation. In general no, but I can see some cases where it would be acceptable to me. For instance, if the at-home parent were only qualified to work a very low wage job, I would find state aid acceptable while the unemployed spouse was looking for work and/or the at home spouse went to school to give them the means to bring in a living wage. Also, those who would tax the system *more* by working than receiving aid- for instance those caring for a disabled child where the state would pay for a nurse to come in while the parent were working.
***Do you think we should support stay at home mothers with tax cuts and tax incentives?***
...Some other countries actually *pay* women who choose to be home with their children. I think tax breaks would be a reasonable thing depending on the specifics.
***Do you think we should have national health insurance so women would not have to work for health insurance (as several on the board do since their DH's are self employed)?***
That depends on the plan- but I think that is something that has the potential to benefit almost everyone so yes- I think it's something to look into.
***Can you foresee any reason you would return to work?***
If my husband were to die or after my children are in college or out of their primary/secondary schooling years. (Were we not homeschooling I would return to work when my children entered school.)
***Would you consider it a tragedy if you had to return to work?***
Tragedy? No. It's not our ideal for our family, but it wouldn't be the end of the world either.
***Would you consider it a failure that your DH could not support you and you had to return to work?***
Would *I*? No. Would he? Knowing him and how he feels about the issue and his family values, I'd venture a guess to say that yes, he would.
***Do you believe college savings and retirement are options not neccissities?***
College savings aren't a necessity IMO. I think we all want to have some, but kids *can* work their way through college and take on their own loans if they have to. Do I recommend it if one *can* provide their children with that savings? Absolutely. We intend to help our children to the extent that they don't have to work through school other than through the summers to pay for books etc. if they're not taking classes (a lesson in financial responsibility) But it's not the end of the world if one can't. A retirement *plan* is necessary, because one needs an income to survive.
***I personally have no plans to pay for my children's college tuition but I will assist.***
To what extent?
***I am just curious how far you would go to stay home and support others to stay home....***
It entirely depends on the situation. Put it this way- we would gladly downsize, but we wouldn't move our children into the ghetto or an unsafe area just so that I could be home. We wouldn't give up retirement or college savings for me to sah- we would send the kids to public school rather than homeschool and I would work while they were in school.
Wytchy
In our situation DH goes in to work early and is home around 4, and that's with about a 45min commute. Given that DS doesn't go down until 9 most nights, that's 5 hrs he's with the kids not counting all weekend, holidays and vacation/earned time.
I think that some people around here are under the mistaken impression that I am saying that all families should have a sahp when that isn't the case.
Wytchy
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