WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 9:54am
My insurance at work?

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 9:56am

I hate it when newbies come on the board, which has been established for YEARS, and then complain about the structure of the boards.


It is perfectly, normal, common and accepted for topics to go astray. It is often the astry topics that we enjoy the most.


If you want to start a parallel thread, then stop talking about it and start the damn parallel thread!

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:00am

Its called "group coverage." Many employers still offer insurance to their employees at great rates. Others are passing more of the cost onto the employee.


Xh pays about $75-100 per pay period for major medical. $500 per person deductible. $15 office co-pay. $5, 10 or 15 Rx coapy. 10% coinsurance. Its a fairly standard BC/BS plan


Mine, for which I don't pay a single penny, has $500 per person deducbitle, $10 office co-pay, $10 or $25 Rx copay, 10% coinsurance. Fairly standard BC/BS plan. Oh, and I have dental coverage at no cost as well.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:02am

Well, I can only quote my experience.


Xh's costs have increased over the last few years, but they've never been anywhere near $250 per pay period. He has his choice of about 37 plans; maybe some are that high, but we found the coverage on the $75-100 one great for a great premium.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:17am
Well, okay! Now that I have your permission!
Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:58am

What do you eat that you only spend $50 a week on groceries for 4 people? That seems awfully low to me. Do you eat all 3 meals at home?

Jenna

Avatar for 1969jets
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 11:00am

$50 per MONTH for groceries? What does a quart of strawberries, or a pound of oranges cost where you live?

Jenna

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 11:32am

***Very true....but a child still NEEDS a good education to move forward in life. How many people do you know who are succeeding in life with a bad education? While the actual process and environment may indeed be subjective....the fact is a good education is a NEED.***

Yes- it is. My only disagreement is how that education can be had. Where some see a great public or private school to be the only options, I think (*know*) it can be achieved in a sub-ideal school with parental or other outside educational supplementation. And again, a college degree is *more* important than the quality of ones k-12 public/private schooling.

***I am not sure where the word entitled came into play...but I do think every child NEEDS a good education and is yes, actually entitled to a good education.***

Entitled may not be the right word, but I'm trying to get across that while a good education is necessary, one doesn't *need* to be in ones ideal school environment to obtain it.

***I think parents should do whatever is possible within their means and resources to insure that their children get a good education.***

I agree.

***I just know, that the average school district was not giving my children a good education I know they NEEDED, so I am doing everything in my power to insure that they will have the tools they NEED in life.***

For us that means homeschooling. In order to do that one of us needs to be home with the kids.

***Yes,... but if a parent thinks that a good education is a want and not a NEED...where exactly is the motivation?***

It isn't the good education that is the want, but the choice of school/district.

***Um...if the schools can't afford textbooks and basic supplies, where exactly are they going to get current library materials, internet resources..etc etc etc? Let alone the so/so school districts are often in the lower ses areas which don't always have these resources available as readily as other areas do.***

Children can get library cards in areas with more resources. Parents can transport children to said libraries or children can use public transport in urban and many suburban areas. Parents can involve themselves in local education groups, homeschooling networks etc. There are many ways for the motivated parent to provide a great education in a less-than-ideal public school district.

***I can certainly see this in elementary school...but what about highschool? How do you replace ap classes, biology labs, chem labs, advanced computer labs, research materials...etc?***

http://www.homefires.com/farticles/shoestring.html One of *many* resources. On ebay one can get a microscope for under $100 usually. It won't be the most advanced, but it will do what it needs to do. Computer labs can be done either at the library or one can put together a computer that will be very useable for under $200.

***How does a parent who doesn't even think a good education is a NEED, supply these?***

A parent who doesn't think that a good education wouldn't bother to homeschool in the first place. A parent who doesn't think that a good education *in the district/school situation of their ideal* would be *more* motivated than anyone else *to* provide such materials and resources.

***I know I wouldn't be qualify to teach my children much past 6th/7th grade and dh could get them through chemistry and the higher math classes but there would be huge holes in their education.***

That's assuming that you are incapable of learning *with* your children and not creative enough to locate the proper resources and information for them. I'm confident that we are. While neither of us is a certified teacher, let alone in every subject, we're certainly smart enough to find the information and knowledge that we lack in order to fill in those holes that you speak of.

***School is much more than just academics...its social, behavior, attitude environment of the school of both the parents and kids.***

Homeschooling parents are frequently part of larger homeschooling networks. Barring that possibility, who says that kids can't get together with their peers after school and on weekends? IMO it's not necessarily the *best* social experience to limit ones interaction primarily to those of ones own age group in a confined setting all day such as the traditional classroom. As a homeschooler, one enjoys social interactions with those of *all* ages, which IMO is a far more beneficial and positive social lesson. After all, once one reaches adulthood and enters the workforce one isn't likely to be dealing primarily with others of ones own age ;)

***Things where they think good education is a need...where it's cool to be smart, and where my son is encouraged all day long, not just at home or a few hours a week in a gifted program.***

;) I guess it's a common misconception that "homeschooling" equals "just at home". Fortunately that is *not* the case :)

***Yep...a couple of districts around here. Even in our local public school, which is average, only about 24% go on to college....not only for the reason they may not be capable of that, many parents don't feel the need to encourage their children to get a great education because they don't consider it a need.***

Just because many don't *choose* to go to college doesn't mean that one is incapable of going. As this discussion is about parents and *wanting* to provide a good education to their children, I don't see why you're heading off on the tangent of parents *not* encouraging their children to get a great education... It's a totally different subject and not at all related to the premise of our talks here. And yet once more, just in case it hasn't sunk in yet- a good education is a need. A good education *in a school setting of your choosing/ideal* is a 'want'.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 11:43am

It *can* be done on $75. One won't be eating alot of packaged/processed foods, but trust me, it *can* be done. ;) One can buy milk on sale (it's 2-3 here too) or use powdered and not drink it as a beverage. One can cook inexpensive meals at home from scratch etc. http://www.wqad.com/Global/story.asp?S=2580331 As one interesting example :) I like my favorite foods and cooking too much to do it when I don't have to, but because I've been looking at ways to decrease our $400/mo grocery bill, I've been reading alot of things about how people are doing that and worked the numbers out of curiosity so I know we could do just that ;)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 11:47am
Yes we own our home. Our monthly payment including property tax and homeowners insurance is $598. (Property taxes in CA are much lower than other states because of Prop 13) And food prices vary widely in different areas. First of all, I don't buy anything prepackaged. (Not saying other people necessarily do) I buy fruits and vegetables at the farmers market most of the year, I can and jar things in the summer so I don't need to buy much fruit in the winter. I buy a lot of things in bulk (rice, beans, flour, sugar etc) and I buy large quantities of meat and freeze. Bread is only 58 cents a loaf here so I don't make bread, it's more expensive to make it. I do put 5% away for savings, and we have started a small college fund. My dad gifts the children $1000 a year for college into a stock account and my grandmother gifts them $500 a year. I don't count on it, or anything, but it does help. Since I'm only 26 and I don't plan on SAH forever, and dh doesn't plan on making what he does forever, I don't see it as a huge problem. Most people's wages increase as they work somewhere.

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