WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 6:44pm

Many people consider that 10hrs a good tradeoff for the lower costs and lifestyle that the country/outer 'burbs offer.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 7:00pm

I'm pretty sure it's nationwide; I don't work for opm. I work for GPO (Government Printing Office). The feds centralized benefit information under OPM's jurisdiction so everyone gets the same thing and can access information on it at OPM.gov.

and the COBRA was part of my switch from private industry to GPO. I left my last company to take a "temp" assignment with GPO (for a rougly 30% increase in pay). It wasn't as risky as it sounds--GPO always hires typesetters as temps (except for its apprenticeship program, which hires from within GPO and the civil service). We went permanent last week, so I was only paying COBRA for about 4 months (and my increase in salary *more* than covered it so it wasn't at all a hardship).

Now that I'm paying slightly more than $100/mo for benefits and giving up the $365 COBRA payment, it's another $200+/mo in my pocket....and if I get switched to night shift that's another 10% increase in the form of shift differential. :) As you can imagine, as much as I enjoyed typesetting at my *last* job, I'm *loving* it at 30% more :) Things are wonderful.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 7:00pm

With a 350,000 insurance payout and no house pmt. (as in the situation with the widow we were originally speaking of) or planning ones family/home purchase/expenses etc. one *can* have a decent savings and not be cutting it as close as you presume. It may not be *your* idea of comfortable, but for someone content with making do with less, it can be.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 7:05pm

This actually has nothing to do with SAH ... One of the families that lives on that *comfortably* has dual WOHPs.


I can't *prove* to you that it can be done comfortably because your definition and the families that do it are different. Plus, you'd just have to meet the families to know that they are indeed, comfortable.

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 7:06pm

heh....am I misrepresenting you? Or just misrepresenting your new edited posts....it's so hard to keep up with such moving targets.

But even assuming you've been saying the whole thing all along, your opinion on this topic is so obviously biased. You presume that "anyone" can make up for a bad school system by homeschooling, but that presupposes the *PARENT* already has a good education. How does the parent who didn't get a good education give his or her child one? How does the parent who has to hold down a job just to get by homeschool? How does the parent who relies on vehicle sharing with the other parent access all those resources that you claim are so readily available to everyone everywhere?

And as long as we're discussing what we find "highly amusing," I find it highly amusing how you continue to refuse to discuss my *posts* but continually make personal comments about me.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 7:08pm

Then why respond at all? You have time to tell me you don't have time to respond, but you don't have time to just respond and be done with it?

and I'm supposed to make time to read everything you wrote? Why?

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 7:10pm

Government insurance here. No deductible, 100% coverage, inc. vision/dental (not 100% but decent) and $10 copays.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 7:11pm

Well...did you mean for my Dad to still be able to do his job, or is he supposed to just go on welfare?

Not everyone works a job that's immediately translatable to all places everywhere. Not even your dh with the imaginary hardware/software computer geek does both sides of the house job that hasn't existed since the mid 90s.

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 7:15pm

Which is what I covered in my first sentence.

"I find it hard to believe that any one sees a long commute as reasonable but as something that sometimes has to be done."

My dad had an hour commute from 1970 until he retired in the mid 1990's because it was a better option than living in Detroit and having a short commute.

People do often make the choice of having a long commute but if they could have "lower costs and lifestyle that the country/outer 'burbs offer" with a short commute then they would choose that and have 10 hours more at home. They take the long commute because it is something that has to be done to give them the lifestyle they prefer not because it is reasonable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 7:15pm

Well, let me see if I have all the details of your posts straight.

You live in an area of the country where someone can live "comfortably" on $37K/year, but it's within an hour's commute (via mass transit) of a city big enough to actually HAVE mass transit, but NOT well off enough to pay a software engineer more than $37K/year...or just roughly $20K year *less* than a federal typesetting APPRENTICE.

that about right?

Karen

"A pocketknife is like a melody;
sharp in some places,

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