WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
WOH/Kids/Feminism: WDYT?
1456
Tue, 02-08-2005 - 9:06am

Okay, let's debate something else. One morning a few months ago, I was crabby to DH about having to get ready for work. DH said, "Well, if you don't want to go to work, quit!"

Later that day, I told him I was just venting, and then I told him some of the reasons I really do like WOH. One reason was something to the effect that I wanted to WOH as part of at-home feminism for our DD's. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.

I thought about it some and decided that although this is a heartfelt idea for me, it's still fuzzy. I suppose I meant that I want to show my DDs how to live independently of a man, in the sense of income, ability to make one's way in the world, and so on, even if they choose marriage & kids. My feelings of pride in my own mom, who was a WOH mom, come into it, too.

Caution: I don't mean in any way to suggest anything the least bit negative about SAH moms. That's not what this is about. Nor do I mean to suggest that anyone has to WOH to teach their kids feminist or gender neutral values. That's not what this is about, either.

Do you think there's any value in WOH as part of raising kids? Please help me clarify my thinking.

Sabina

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:33pm
The report shows avg. household income at $30,172; it appears not to count anyone under age 16 in the per capita income figures. Only 18.2% of households had an annual income of over $50K. 51.1% of households w/ related children under 18 had gross income that was below the Federal poverty line.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:34pm
There is state income tax, but it is very low. Most families pay only a couple of hundred dollars a yr. There is also a homestead exemption, and in that town, I can think of only about 40 homes that would be worth enough to incur property tax.


Edited 2/13/2005 10:43 pm ET ET by 6721ard
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:38pm

Why would I hold things against my father that happened to me when I was a child? Yes, he was clueless, but it wasnt like HE was abusive or mean. My college money wasnt necessarily *spent*-my stepmother just decided the money would be better spent elsewhere and he was too weak to stand up to her. Doesnt mean he doesnt love me or I dont love him, nor does it mean he isnt capable of caring for my children as your post seems to imply.


Forgiveness is a very freeing thing, and life is too short to hold onto past hurts. My dad has made a lot of mistakes, but he has also done a lot of wonderful things too. Should I have written him out of my life because he made mistakes??? Do you still have resentment against your parents for selling their house or other things that traumatized you????


I dont know-when I became a parent it clued me in to just how human our own parents were. They were just people, doing the best they could with the tools they had.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:38pm

You are right, there are many many kids who drink soy or rice milk or another substitute.


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Okay then what is the best source of calcium for healthy bones and teeth for young children?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:43pm

No.


I was almost 30 before I had one. My mom just bought a house this year with one-first one ever.


Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:47pm

Ever stopped to think that the sale of your childhood home had very little to do with the trauma you were going through? Sounds like it was just a very tiny part of many issues and long term resentments.


But hey, you dont give

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:50pm

Call me a total non car moron but.....how do you protect your car in such cold weather without a garage?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 10:58pm

Plug it in. Put antifreeze in it.


I

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 5:46am

I hope I've taught my girls the same thing.


My oldest dd just landed a job as an account manager for a commodities trading company (they buy and sell grains)..in our area this is typically a "mans" job.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 6:31am

Wytchy, you are an awesome debater. I don't think you've gotten much support for your position here. I don't think I would go to such lengths and make such sacrifices to sah as you've discussed here.

But, I think you've also educated most of us in this debate in a very important way. I didn't know so much about others' (mis)management of their incomes, the COL in other areas and other people's SOL. Thanks!

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