WOHM- How do you have enough time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
WOHM- How do you have enough time?
34
Sat, 09-19-2009 - 11:19pm

I went back to work for about 2 months when my son was 4 months old. I would get up at 6 and get ready. Get him up at 7 and get him ready.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sat, 09-19-2009 - 11:35pm

Divide and conquer. Your post didn't say--are you married/living with your son's father? One gets the baby fed and ready while the other one gets ready for work. Then switch. One drops the baby off at dc. The other one picks him up. One cooks, the other one cleans while the first one does the bedtime routine. Same for the rest of the chores. Put a load of laundry in in the morning. Put it in the dryer when you get home. Fold and put away while watching TV. One dust; the other vacuum. Do grocery shopping together.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Sat, 09-19-2009 - 11:51pm

Yes, I'm married. He works odd hours sometimes, so I would get baby up and ready, drop him off and pick him up. he was usually getting home right around the time I was making dinner, and would usually do the clean up and such. I had about 3 hours a day with my son after getting home (morning hours don't even count because I was so rushed and still half asleep, lol). It just didn't seem like enough time with him. I can't even imagine now that he is a little older (10 months) and walking, talking, and actually wanting to play. I guess I get concerned about daycare too. I didn't when he was younger, because he didn't really do much. I just can't imagine a daycare with multiple kids being able to help him walk around, practice words with him, play catch, etc. So I would feel like I had to fit all that in the 3 hours a night I have between pick up and bedtime. I'm not sure if the limited time just doesn't bother some people, or if they have some magical way of making it enough time to do everything. (I'm really hoping somebody can tell me how to fit a 12 hour day into 3 hours!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Sun, 09-20-2009 - 6:21am

Most families I known with dual fulltime wohps stagger their hours and split the drop off and picks ups with the other parent. That gives more time alone time with each parent and more total parent time for the child.

IME, very young children (all children really) have a wide range of what is "enough" and it also depends on if their "othercare" matches their personality. Some children thrive better in home care, some in nanny care, some in a full fledged stand alone daycare.

Most young children thrive with 30-45 hours of othercare. There are some that need less and some that thrive with more.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
Sun, 09-20-2009 - 9:27am
Divide and conquer, plan plan plan, pick your battles, let the unimportant things go, hire help, and realize that "family time" can be accomplished in the oddest of places and oddest of moments.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2009
Sun, 09-20-2009 - 9:59am

yup yup yup - and realize that 3 hours IS plenty of time with a little one -- it's when they're older they suck the life out of you LOL -- and realize that most little ones thrive in a daycare setting with other little ones around -- I would have been lost without daycare to help potty train Liza LOL - and it was awesome the way they helped shape her little life in those years - I frankly was happy to share the work bc I hated the infant and toddler phase - I much prefer the big kid 10 year old phase she's in now --

I don't really cook, I clean sporadically, and when it comes down to it if I have to choose between things liek a "proper dinner on the table" or hanging with the girl doing something fun - I pick the something fun.

set your OWN priorities and don't let anyone tell you they're not the right ones - if they're yours then they're the right ones

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Sun, 09-20-2009 - 10:41am

The other posters have given you good advice on how to do that. I'll just add in that you do what you want and let the rest go. If you want to spend the evening just watching your son entertain you then go for it. It's the best and cheapest entertainment around. It's a blast to watch them pull up, take that first step sideways on the couch, and contemplate that first independent step. Mind, after they do master walking, you'll also wonder why you were ever impatient for them to start. :) It is true that dishes will always be there and the house doesn't have to look like the cover of Better Homes & Gardens. No one sees unmade beds.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Sun, 09-20-2009 - 10:47am

Here's a yup yup yup for you, too.


I think that it's important, whether WOH or SAH, to put aside whatever pre-conceived notions you have in your head about what is the "right" way to do things and to find the way that works for you.


Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Sun, 09-20-2009 - 11:28am
Well said. Thinking back, I caused myself endless misery by thinking things *had* to be a certain way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2009
Tue, 09-22-2009 - 8:35am
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 09-22-2009 - 10:12am

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I think you just do.

PumpkinAngel

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