WOHP's Alone Time w/ Kids

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Registered: 03-26-2003
WOHP's Alone Time w/ Kids
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Tue, 04-27-2010 - 9:55am

The board is slow, so I'm going to throw something out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 3:35pm

I presume all the other times that I said - weekends and after he/she gets home from work, right?. I presume if the activities/sports are taking place when the WOHP is still at work, then the "alone" time is gained in the evenings and on weekends b/c everyone is done with their activities/work for the day.

If dh wasn't involved in the kids' sports/activities for whatever reason, he would still have whatever alone time he wants in the evening/weekends.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 3:37pm

"But I was talking about the SAHP/WOHP family that arranges all the kid activities before the WOHP gets home, not the dual WOHP family."

Isn't that kind of assuming that the only alone time to be had with a child is running them to their activities?

The evening hours are going to happen whether there are child activities or not. Which means an opportunity for alone time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 3:40pm
when i became a sahm that was the one thing that was lost - alone time for my dh with the kids.
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Registered: 10-08-1998
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 3:42pm
DH generally travels Monday through Thursday. Most Fridays he picks up lunch and takes it to the elementary school to eat with our middle two children. One has lunch at 11:45 and the other at 12:30. Since our oldest got her drivers permit, he usually lets her drive to school with him on Friday's and they stop for coffee. He is home with me and our preschooler the rest of the day on Fridays and he tries to take a different kid out each weekend to spend one on one time with them.
Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 3:53pm
That doe-eyed, little child is driving? I think it is time for you to stop by again ;).

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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

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Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 3:53pm

Why the emphasis on alone time anyway? This post is not aimed at you - just in general to this thread.

I don't really remember my parents ever singling any of us kids out for "alone" time, it just happened when it happened. My parents didn't attend every single one of my games. Back then, the parents that I knew weren't so involved in their kids lives. I played on a travel soccer team in the Wash DC area where we had to travel sometimes an hour to get to our games. Typically, we'd carpool to all those games so only a few of the parents would even go. Now, my son is on a travel team and pretty much every kid has at least one parent at all of his games, unless they have a conflict and they ask someone for a ride for their kid. There typically isn't any carpooling.

I remember my "alone" time with my father was when he'd towel dry my very thick hair every night after my bath. I remember sitting with him in his recliner watching Walter Cronkite on the CBS Evening News *every* night after dinner when I was a kid. I don't remember my father going to many of my soccer games. I'm sure he went to a few, but it's not like it is now, where it's kind of assumed, at least in our corner of the world, that parents are typically going to their kids' games most of the time, unless they have a scheduling conflict. I'm quite sure my father didn't have scheduling conflicts, he just didn't feel the need to do and it didn't phase me one bit.

I think the dynamics in each family are such that it really depends on the family and the individuals how much alone time is enough. If a family prefers to schedule the kids' activities (when possible) such that they are all out of the way prior to the WOHP getting home, then who cares? Perhaps they all enjoy each other's company and want to spend that evening time together. It's also not hard to find some alone time every night with each kid, whether it's reading books with them, going over HW or just sitting on the end of their beds and talking to them about whatever. I'm certainly not keeping track of the minutes dh or I get with each of our kids. As parents, we can tell when one of our kids might need a little extra attention.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2010
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 4:05pm
I don't think that has changed. When I was in activities some parents -usually the same ones-showed up most of the time. We did have carpools but those were not activities that parents would have a need to stay for.
Avatar for rollmops2009
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Registered: 02-24-2009
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 4:06pm

I think those are good points. "Alone time" with my dad meant hanging out in his living room/work room while he drew and blasted Beethoven or whatever his musical kick was at the time. Oh, and he can't talk when he is drawing (it is hard enough for him when he is not drawing). I don't really remember alone time with my mom either. My parents worked in the house or outside, we played or entertained each other.

OTOH, when one parent SAHs and does everything all the time for the kids while the other parent WOHs and rarely takes responsibility for the kids solo, then it probably does skew things a bit.

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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

Mark Twain

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Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 4:07pm

The evening hours are going to happen whether there are child activities or not. Which means an opportunity for alone time.


of course.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 4:20pm

When I was in activities some parents -usually the same ones-showed up most of the time.


that's a really good point.

 

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