WOHP's Alone Time w/ Kids

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
WOHP's Alone Time w/ Kids
242
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 9:55am

The board is slow, so I'm going to throw something out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 8:41pm

Really? You have 3 kids too, right? If they do 3 concurrent activities, how does that work? Car pools, extended family and friends may get them there, but I would feel really disappointed if either my dh or I didn't get to see them participate on a regular basis.

I saw dd15 run a 70sec 400 today, but it meant I had to let ds12 and ds10 came home to an empty house for an hour, because dh had to go into the office. It was a tough choice, but since I'm going to miss a majority of her upcoming track meets, and I'm an assistant coach, I thought I should be there and she and her team, were awesome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 9:48pm

You never have one on one time at home with your kids? I just spent 30 minutes reading alone with my 5 y/o, even though the entire family was home. The older kids were downstairs with dh having a late snack as we had all just gotten home from two different games we had this evening.

No need to ask for forgiveness, I was just reiterating what I'd already pointed out in my other post. Even in my family of six, we still manage to have "alone" time in our house or "one on one" time. I don't really go around labeling the type of time we spend with our kids as family or alone time, but for the purposes of this debate, not all time at home together is family time, simply b/c we all happen to be in the house at the same time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2000
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 9:54pm
I didn't mean to suggest that it's not important to have that time alone with each child, but I don't get why it has to be quantified in some way or calculated hourly to ensure that both the WOHP and the SAHP are getting equal time. I think it is important to have that time also, but I'm not sitting here calculating whether I have more time with the kids than dh does. Sometimes one of my kids needs or wants more time with either dh or me, and sometimes not. We both make a point to have some "alone" time with each of the kids, but we certainly aren't keeping score. That's all I mean. I'm sure my father wasn't keeping track of the hours he was spending alone with me when I was growing up and I know that my mother definitely spent more time with me than he did, but it didn't negatively affect my relationship with him at all. I'm very close to my father regardless of the fact that he didn't spend as many hours "alone" with me. We had our special moments together pretty regularly and that is what I cherish.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2010
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:00pm
What does that mean, I don't do field trips?



I thought that was pretty self explainatory.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2009
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:47pm

My kids are older and one on one time is pretty important. DD15, who talks constantly, will only talk about some stuff with me or her father when the others aren't round. DS12 is a teeth pulling type that needs one-on-one to get to the important stuff. DS10 loves to talk, but can't get a word in when dd and ods are around.

We do schedule one-on-one time and the kids expect it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:56pm

Yea...it could be both kids alone with one parent...I would say that I'm spending time with my boys and not call it family time.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 10:58pm

Why would you assume that I haven't experienced that?


But that's a curious thought....how can someone say there isn't anything to be gained if they haven't experienced a wohp fully participating in those sports/activities?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 11:05pm

Well said....


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 11:12pm
I consider time spent with any of my family to be family time, it does not have to be the entire family. But I am at a stage in life when the whole family together is a rarity.

What is immediate family can be another question, as it changes. When I was a child , it was was my parents and siblings. When I grew up it became my DH and then our kids. If the immediate family is only those living in the same household then my immediate family is my DH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 04-27-2010 - 11:15pm

Perhaps when my kids were smaller, but my largest time alone with my kids is to/from school and their sports/activities....without those specific times, yes...then I would have to work harder at finding alone time with my kids.

PumpkinAngel

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