work or stay home? that is the question

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
work or stay home? that is the question
72
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 9:45am

I am a stay at home mom of 2 beautiful children.One is 3 and one will be 6 very soon and is in the first grade.for quite a long time i have been torn between staying at home or working and really don't know which way to turn.I sometimes feel that i am not contributing the way that i should and that feeling really gets to me, but at the same time my youngest only has to wait one more year before she is old enough to be accepted into the preschool program that is held in the same school building that my oldest child is in. i have been ridiculed people including certain in laws about my current decision to remain home a little longer. they can say a lot of not so nice things about me(ie:that i'm being lazy and being an unfit parent)neither of which are true because not only do i take care of everyone in my home but i'm teaching my 3 year old too.can someone please give me advice on what i should do?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 11:31am
Bingo.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 11:32am

every one i know thinks that we should live like rockefellers and

LOL.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 11:50am

If you and your dh agree, the finances cover your sah, I don't see why others would or believe that they should

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 11:52am

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PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 1:03pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 1:07pm
well their dad has but i stay out of that .that kind of thing is between him and her . i have never asked that woman for anything other than to take one of the kids to the doctor when i was too ill to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 1:23pm

i have to say INLAWS and i have gone around and around about particulars through the years but my choices,my SAH has never been challenged and i guess i'm thankful for that.......at some point you may just have to tolerate (which doesn't mean accept) her judgements and criticisms.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 1:56pm
Well, if your DH has had to ask your MIL for money because things were tight, I can see where she might be of the opinion that your family needs the money you could earn if you went back to work. I am not saying you should- you are the best determiner of that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 3:08pm

i'm no mind reader but what she contributes to financially she may feel entitled to give an opinion about then too.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Thu, 09-10-2009 - 6:24pm

"well their dad has but i stay out of that "


But if your DH has had to ask his parents for money, I can kind of see their point. I don't think they should ridicule you, but I do understand why they might be concerned that their son needed to come to them for money while their DIL isn't working. It isn't normally their business how you arrange your life, but if your DH needs to borrow from them, then in a sense, it becomes their business.

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