Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:04pm
Wouldn't be caught dead playing golf but we do have a gator, 4 wheelers and a Go Kart.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:06pm
That's got to be the most unreasonable reply I've read to date.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:09pm
There are plenty. Try the AskEric database. Almost uniformly and across the board, there are no differences attributable to mom's work status. The statment that there are as many healthy, happy adults coming from dual WOHP families and SHP families is not contradicted in any way by available data - and it is just common sense.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:10pm
I love it when our libraries around here sell their books. Or give them away.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:13pm
Why would either be confused? It's a philosophy he has developed over time and some people who follow it have found success--more than you'd probably care to admit, given your negativity.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:18pm
I have nearly no desire to converse about what you post about to me but I did want you to know why I am not answering is not because I don't have reasons or answers (which I have posted already). Your posts seem caustic in nature and I'm not here to get into it with people who aren't into trying to understand the other side. I've lived the other side of my coin. That's why I prefer the side I'm advocating.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:20pm

I suppose that would be a start, but you'd have to find two countries where the culture was very similar other than the SAH/WOH dynamic.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:20pm
It's in very particular order. We have fallen out of order due to things we already had in place before we started his program. His philosophy is not always popular but he has made a believer out of many who have thought the same things as I'm reading on this board.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:26pm
I don't understand why you think my family has been financially unstable if that is what you are suggesting. Nothing could be further from the truth. What was taught to me was that credit was manageable. I think cash is better and wouldn't touch credit now with a 10 ft pole. I don't appreciate your insinuations, assumptions or condescending comments where you don't have the information necessary to make such judgments.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 3:27pm
Why would they have to be so similar? If there were such clear detrimental effects on children when both parents WOH, surely those effects would appear regardless of the differences in cultures?

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