Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 4:05pm
Natural, like sippy cups. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 4:08pm

LOL! I'll gather that you don't realize that Jennie WAS a wohm and is NOW a sahm??? I would say that she has a MUCH better understanding of BOTH sides to the debate than most of the posters here.

Imagine that -- she's a sahm who doesn't agree with you, huh? Too bad you won't listen to her -- she's a very wise woman. Ah, well, Your loss.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 4:09pm

I think it would depend on where you plan to send your child. Actually, he doesn't stress saving for an entire college plan. He's an advocate of children helping to pay their way. He says that if you want to send them fully paid and can do it that is fine. If not, that's fine too. We won't be fully funding any of our children's college. We will pay for part and they will pay for part. Our boys are already saving for their missions. Our daughter is currently saving for a car. We will match what they have to spend at the time they are ready for the events.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 4:11pm

You, the children's father, and othercare, that is. Perhaps you should throw them some kudos once in a while. Do you really think you've done it single-handedly?

I'm not a big H. Clinton fan, but I agree with her that it takes a village to do "one heck of a good job," even for a SAHM who spends the great bulk of her time with her children. DH, our extended family members and friends, church community, neighbors, future teachers, all these people contribute to DS's upbringing. If I proclaim my "success" one day, it won't be without acknowledging the contributions of the many others in DS's life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 4:13pm

I'm sorry, I'm not understanding what it is you are insinuating. He doesn't recommend debt at all. However, he recognizes that when people start his plan they probably already have a mortgage. He recommends paying off all debt but the house as a second step to becoming debt free.

There is nothing to agree or disagree with about what he says. He hasn't deviated from his plan since he developed it years ago and put it into motion then further into print. It's not a new plan by any means. What's more, it works.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 4:14pm

wow. not only was there nothing condescending in her post, she was quite complimentary at the end.

maybe you need to read what's actually there?

Of course, your earlier posts about WHY you needed the Ramsey program would lead one to believe that just maybe your family's financial situation was "unstable" (your word, not mine).

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 4:16pm
Bravo!

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 4:16pm
One could probably compare the stats between two states that are similar otherwise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 4:25pm

<>

I throw them in often, LOL! But yes, I WILL take the bulk of the kudos for raising great kids.

As for raising them "single-handedly"? My ex has become a much better dad because we're not married anymore. For many years, I most certainly operated as an "almost" single parent. I took care of all their health, religious and educational needs. If they needed new clothes -- i bought them. If they needed to go to the doctor or dentist -- i took them. I was the one that most often got up with them in the middle of the night.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-16-2006 - 4:49pm
Do only the boys go on missions? I have wondered about this, since I see some girls too, but not many.

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