Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 7:53pm

"You'd have to understand that the people who most use DR's advice are not people like you. They are people like me who never had an inkling about how to be fiscally sound. Our parents all were good in paying their bills. We figured we would be too but were irresponsible where our parents weren't."


So then why were you upset with my comments earlier in this thread?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 7:54pm
How would you know? Molesters don't necessarily advertise the fact that they molest, KWIM?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 7:55pm
it is not about priorities at all - i doubt very much that very much the priorities are that different between dual woh and sah. if you are talking about priorities that make a difference. i know my priorities for my children are things like making sure they have a roof over their head, food to eat, clothes to wear, and the ability to have and experience a wonderful childhood. are those really that different than what you have as priorities for your children? children do not sacrafice by attending daycare, in fact the majority of them thrive and gain wonderful expereinces they would not have had without it. i have had less time and found it more difficult to woh once the kids started school. everyone has to decide what works best for their family, but the fact is there are a million different, equally as great ways to raise kids. and since you cant tell a child with a sahp from one without what horrible sacrafices are you thinking are being heaped upon those poor children of wohps?
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 7:57pm
Do you assume all teenagers who have dual WOHPs are latchkey kids?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 8:00pm
I didn't make dumb choices before I was a parent.

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Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 8:34pm
And are you claiming that paying bills in that scenario would be easier if you were using a debit instead of a credit card? If so, why?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 9:44pm

Wow, I must have missed a lo-o-ng memo back when my kids were little.

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 9:58pm

"<>

I'm not sure what you mean here."

When you're writing one lesson for 30 kids, there's only so far you can tweak it and stay on course. The beauty of grouping by ability is you aren't trying to write one lesson for 30 kids and you aren't trying to keep them all on the same topic.

I read the article you posted but fail to see what it has to do with grouping by ability. Grouping by ability isn't done based on the teacher's perceptions but rather test results.

Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 10:01pm
It's because for many people, the tax deduction *is* worth having a mortgage. They value an actual financial advantage more highly than they do a feeling that "it's nice" to own your home outright.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Sun, 12-17-2006 - 11:10pm
DR advocates giving throughout the entirety of his plan. It is one of the primary goals. He would agree with your sentiments about giving.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

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