Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:15pm

Ah, but I'm not the one who stated there is plenty of time to go back when they are in first grade.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:16pm
LOL, I agree. I am good friends with the lady who sells me vegetables. We always have a chat over the food purchases. Her sons are teens. Last week she wasn't around much and when I asked her about later she told me she had taken some personal days to check up on her boys a bit. She said the same thing sort of, paraphrasing here (and translating), "Well, lemme tell ya! When they are little, any fool can feed and water them, but now! They need us around more, although they pretend they don't."
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:19pm
So, should women who want to be mothers even invest time and money in graduate school and careers?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:22pm

"How is it possible that a potty-trained, self-feeding 3rd grader would need an adult more than a 1 year old, for example?"


As you say, it depends on how you define "need."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2006
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:25pm
"You see, you don't have to be home 24 x 7 for any period of time to parnent well."

How can you parent by not being there?
Sure, you can parent by teaching children who are old enough to understand your family's values, instilling enough knowledge for them to make smart choices when you are not there. Sure you can parent by phone when your 13 year old calls you at work to ask if they can go out.
But how can you parent a baby if you are not physically there? For ME, my satisfaction comes when my 12 month old is pointing at the birds outside at 11 am on a Tuesday and I am there to interact, teach. hold and play.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:26pm

Obviously we're not talking about multiplication flashcards. We're talking about large, sturdy cards with pictures and words. What is the "world of difference" between a board book that only contains a word or two on each page and a set of animal flashcards? Or do you only approve of board books that contain a great story line? I'm as big a fan of Sandra Boynton as anyone else, I suppose, but I really don't think DS knows the difference between "Oh My, Oh My, Oh Dinosaur" and the more mediocre "Around the Farm"--other than the pictures-- when he stands at the coffee table turning the pages.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:27pm
I find an 11yo girl infinitely more challenging to parent than an infant or toddler, and I expect that it only gets more complicated in the upcoming years. Get me back to the diaper changing, potty training, and food fight days; they were always followed by a long nap.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:28pm

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Easy.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:30pm

Just sahd's?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 12-18-2006 - 3:33pm

Soooo not looking forward to the teen years.

PumpkinAngel

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