Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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Wait a minute, she's not home with you? Does that make your debate pretty much moot?
ROTF LMAO - my daughter is in 3rd grade!
I must be missing something. I live in the city and never knew I was supposed to be single and broke.
Talk about a huge, TV watching induced, stereotype. Yikes.
Jennie
I am currently sahp.
Your description doesn't apply to *anyone* that I know.
The dual income families that I know do it because it it what is best for their family. I don't know anyone who does it just for "niceties". PLus the definition of niceties is a whole nother debate. (Do retire or college savings count? or not?) Many careers cannot be left to pick up later. Many jobs are flexible so that dual ftwohp families can easily balance work and homelife. Many dualwohp families I know have one or both that work reduced hours. Many families I know have a sahp because they have an LD child or the wohp has long or strange or traveling hours. There is no one size fits all "best" as there are no one sized fits all families.
Almost everyone I know has changed their working hours since the advent of children. This includes the fathers as well as the mothers.
food, housing, clothing, transportation, health insurance, lighting, heat, water....yeah, I think it's worth it to woh.
Oh, and if I waited until they were all in school, we wouldn't have been able to afford all of those.
Carole
Jennie
Jennie
is it me or is anyone else hearing the violins playing???? Funny thing is though -- I was NEVER in competition with the provider. Didn't need to be. I was/am mom. She was the provider. It never threatened me one tiny little bit that my kids enjoyed their providers.
Also, I don't know about your kids, but mine NEVER cried. They were always content and happy and enjoyed playing.
As for "the parents' touch, need to hear mother's voice, familiar smells"....LOL! I WAS WITH MY CHILDREN for the balance of 128 HOURS out of 168. HOW in the world do you think that they would "forget" my voice or fail to recognize me???
So anyone that mothers differently than YOU is doing it wrong??? GEEZ, I wish you would have told me that 15.5 YEARS ago before I had my three kids. And all this time I thought I was doling a great job.
I thin I'll quit tomorrow. I'm sure dh won't mind. I'll just tell him that I'll automatically go from being a good parent to a great parent -- just by virtue of becoming a sahm (insert eye roll here........)....
Carole
Jennie
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