Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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There's a huge difference between doing what you prefer and recommending the same to all other parents on the basis that if their preference isn't the same as your preference, then their kids are suffering.
Sabina
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
Noone is calling you a bad mom.
We are also from a low income neighborhood(in NYC). We saved for 6 years to move out of the city and buy a house. Working and saving to move to a safer place is a necessity. Not an extra. At least not to me.
We intended our oldest to be the only as well. We also knew that children can be alot to handle but we changed our minds and were blessed with another 1 year ago. They are 7 years apart and I can't believe I waited so long.
I consider extras to be luxuries. IE: The more expensive vacation vs the standard one. just piano lessons vs. piano and dance and flute..., the standard family car vs the Luxury SUV.
"Also, I don't know about your kids, but mine NEVER cried. "
That's hilarious.
I guess you saw that in your crystal ball. While you were away.
"HOW in the world do you think that they would "forget" my voice or fail to recognize me???"
LOL re-read my post, nobody used the words "forget" or " fail to recognize". I guess you have been thinking along those lines.
"but, if the only way to be a great parent is to sah couldnt families who believed that have planned better before kids and saved enough so that both parents could sah for the first few years? or is it only important for mom? or does the wohp in these relationships just decide they dont want to be an equal parent?
Jennie"
Unless you are independantly wealthy both parents couldn't stay home- someBODY has to work to feed and clothe etc. remember this debate is about working for EXTRAS and LUXURIES.
Edited 12/18/2006 7:05 pm ET by texigan-again
you can try to spin this any way you want, but that will not make you correct for MY children.
<I guess you saw that in your crystal ball. While you were away.>>
No, their dad looked in the window just before driving away. Also, our caregivers would have called if there was something wrong -- as they were good moms just like me. And, on the rare event that they did cry (or like my niece cried each drop-off), it was over in 5 min. or less and then they went about playing as usual.
ME: "HOW in the world do you think that they would "forget" my voice or fail to recognize me???"
YOU: LOL re-read my post, nobody used the words "forget" or " fail to recognize". I guess you have been thinking along those lines.
Actually, this is what you said: "I can't imagine my child crying his eyes out because he wants ME and I am not there because mommy has more important things to do. Things can be explained to a 3 year old, not to a tiny infant who NEEDS the parents touch, needs to hear the mother's voice, needs the familiar smell. Sure, children can get used to anything... it doesn't make it ideal. What some people call spoiling, I call mothering."
I did take a few liberties with the words that you used, but the sentiment is pretty much the same.
Carole
"food, housing, clothing, transportation, health insurance, lighting, heat, water....yeah, I think it's worth it to woh."
read the OP. this thread is about working for EXTRAS not necessities.
Edited 12/18/2006 7:06 pm ET by texigan-again
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