Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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I see.
Sabina
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
I'm referring to the current practice of teaching to the test. All that matters any more is state testing in most schools. A child who passes is then ignored. That's what happened with my daughter. Because she passed the state tests no one would listen when I tried to point out issues even when I went outside of the school and had her tested (then they told me that Sylvan just wanted my money). Ironically, she tested exactly where Sylvan said she was with the same issues when she entered the school she now attends.
This is what I mean by teacing 30 kids to the same level. It's the level of the test and the topics of the test even if the child is stuck somewhere else. Because her new school groups by ability, she didn't have to try and keep up while catching up. Because they came down to her level, she was able to fill in the gaps and is now far enough above grade level to be on the accelerated track. This never would have happened if we stayed in a district there they teach to the test which is to aim for mediocre performance for all.
My issue is trust. I don't care how immaculate a facilty, how nice and credentialed the staff is, if my child cannot verbalize to me if something is going on (neglect, abuse or just general mistreatment) I will not be leaving my baby. We are supposed to hold children (especially our own)to a higher standard.
Appearances can be all well and good but any parent leaving thier baby in the care of another must wonder if everything is really ok. But you can't KNOW, you can only trust. I like KNOWING.
Sabina
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
If the issue is trust, then I hope you aren't planning on leaving your little one with a family member other than yourself. Another family member is much more likely to harm your child than any paid other care.
Nope I don't. I had my kids to raise them myself.
yes, except the OP's statement would refer to the SMALLEST percentage of women who are ONLY working for extras.....
I like the "extras" of living in a nice, safe, middle-class neighborhood, being able to afford new clothes when the kids need them, being able to afford sports activities, field trips and other school funds needed. I like being able to give each of them 2 weeks of day camp in the summer (and last summer a reading comprehension class for my son), as well as a week's summer vacation at the Jersey shore.
I like being able to get away once every 2-3 months for a weekend or overnight with my husband. I like being able to go to the movies when we want, buy a video that we all want to see or a scene-it game that we all like to play.
I like having heat and hot water and air conditioning as each season permits. I like being able to get my hair cut and colored (and highlighted), manicures and pedicures.
The problem with your premise -- as well as that of the OP -- is that I don't work FOR any of those. I can afford those BECAUSE I work.
So, then, that begs the question that no one has yet been able to answer....WHAT is a "luxury" or "extra"????
Carole
"So, it is a verbal issue to you? "
Its many things. Its the verbal issue, it's an issue of trust. Appearances can be deceiving. No situation is perfect. Staying home can be mind numbing but its more important for me to KNOW that my child is in good hands than to just trust that he is. I sacrifice for them because I chose to give birth.
When school comes into play, it is true that we'd find things out after the fact, but at last we'd know.
"So, then, that begs the question that no one has yet been able to answer....WHAT is a "luxury" or "extra"????"
New clothes when children need them are a necessity, not an extra.
I am noticing though that different people define luxuries and extras differently. As I mentioned in a previous post, I consider working to live in a safer neighborhood a necessity. I consider working to afford the SUV vs the standard family car a luxury.
I do think vacations are a need since we must take care of our health both physically and mentally. But working extra to be able to afford a more expensive vacation is a luxury.
Salon visits? Another luxury.
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