Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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Talk about a huge, TV watching induced, stereotype. Yikes.>
No. From working in an large inner city high school for 12 years. From helping hundreds of students and parents fill out FAFSA forms. From visiting homes, attending quinceaneras, weddings, and funerals.
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do they have to be Walmart or Target, Goodwill or Salvation Army, JC Penny or Old Navy?
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THAT's the WHOLE point.
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and what you don't get is that nobody works IN ORDER to afford these -- they can afford these because they work. That's two very, very different things.
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So what's "expensive"? A week in VT. Two weeks at the Jersey shore? A long weekend in Disney? A weekend at a spa or a B&B? How about a week in FL to visit family?
Again, no one works FOR these things. These things can be afforded BECALUSE we work.
Should I begrudge my sah neighbor her pool and jet ski? how about her Mercedes and Lexus? how about the entire month that she rents a house at the shore? Maybe her dh should stop working FOR those luxuries, huh?
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OH YEAH!!! LOVE those. Missed them dearly when I was a single mom. Now that I'm back to dual-wohp, my husband loves to let me treat myself like this (and he likes the back scratches too!). Oh and we got another luxury -- and rehired his cleaning lady.
Carole
The physical needs decrease (except for the back rubs, foot runs and hugs and cuddles) - however, the emotional and mental needs increase as children age.
"Try clothes shopping with a 10 year old versus an 18 month old. "
Exactly, OMG, my children suddenly have opinions about EVERYTHING. 2006 shall be henceforth known as the year I lost control of the Christmas tree. They didn't accept the first tree presented (cheapest too), went right to the expensive tree aisle and found one and wouldn't budge. Interestingly, it was the first time in a while that they actually agreed on something. Plus, when we got home- they had to tell us if it was leaning or not and where to put in and how close to the window.... THen they insisted on deciding where the decorations and lights went... on and on and on... It's not like I was obsessive about the tree- but I do like the similar ornaments to be spread out a bit.
Jennie
"New clothes when children need them are a necessity, not an extra."
Nope, they are niceties. Handmedowns and thriftshop/freecycle supply the need.
What is safe? It is a relative term.
"I consider working to afford the SUV vs the standard family car a luxury."
What is the "standard family car"? My neighbors just bought a used huge 04 Murano SUV for $15k. Must be a nicety (Their other car is a Prius- so they even out I guess). They are also dualftwohps who only use after kindergarten care (we still have 1/2 day kindy). Mom walks kids to bus stop, Dad is at bus stop in afternoon.
"I do think vacations are a need since we must take care of our health both physically and mentally. But working extra to be able to afford a more expensive vacation is a luxury."
What is a "nice" vacation? We had a nice vacation in Acadia Maine this summer- cost us about $1500 for the week- luxury or plain old everyday vacation? Spent another week at the beach in NC- cost -$400 incuding gas and food. luxury or plain old vacation?
"Salon visits? Another luxury. "
Does HairCuttery count as a Salon?
Jennie
Jennie
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