Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
I believe I have explained that on more than one occasion, but let me try it again. There is a world of difference (IMO) between introducing children to books and introducing children to flashcards.
**Depends on the flashcards. Flashcards are not all created equal.
As I have said, I believe books have a purpose,
**So do flashcards even amongst the younger set.
the purpose is to encourage the love of reading.
**The flashcards I have which I've been speaking about foster the love of textures and sounds and sights. Sensory media is very popular in books. What do you see as the difference?
Teaching children about books in general, not necessarily what the contents are, but what a book is and what the purpose of a book is.
**Give me a break.
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No and I'm not even sure why you are asking that question.
**Probably because you refuse to see that some flashcards have great educational aspects to them and the poster is like me and trying to gain a concept of why you only approve of the books and disapprove of the board flashcards which present the same medium in a different form.
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Again...that has nothing to do with what I have stated previously.
**It certainly does considering the child is getting the same type understanding only from a different medium. I think yours and others' problem is that they have this stigma attached to rote memorization and attach that to flash cards since we use these for math tables and a,b,c's and what not and you can't see past that to see that the board books we use for infants and small children as well as other books present the same information, the same rote way, in a different form.
P
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
My dd is 14. She is extremely self-sufficient, independent and confident. I do not need to be around 24/7, nor am I around all the time.
**How much time do you estimate you do spend with her? Aside from sleeping time?
Most afternoons she has a few hours of extracurriculars, and she is completely in charge of that.
**What do you mean "she is completely in charge of that"?
I have yet to meet her track coach or even find out where the stadium is.
**Why not on both counts?
I really have to be on my toes.
**How are you proposing that you are "really on your toes"?
It is exactly like a baby-adult.
**No such animal exists. Children don't have the consistent ability to reason through all situations nor the experience to act anything like an adult enough to be left alone in most ways us grown up adults would like to think.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
They become more self sufficient in this home. They make their own money and manage it by paying tithing right off the top. Then they half the rest and save half and spend the other (or save it for a large ticket item). We will pay for half a large ticket item if they come to us and talk to us about it and we discuss it and come to terms on it. If they have no money, they get no advance. If we are going out to eat it makes me proud to hear my 9yo offer to help dad or mom pay for the meal.....to which we kindly say "thank you, but no" we have opted though to let them consider helping with the tip. They love this!
Children don't have to become more expensive unless we choose to allow them to become such.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
"In charge" means that she signs herself up (after asking permission), gets herself there and gets herself home.There are various practical reasons why I have not gone to see the track outfit yet. They have a meet in January, so I am sure I will meet the coaches then. She is very pleased with herself for having found it and organized it herself.
How much time I spend with her really varies an enormous amount. Some weeks she is home a lot, and other weeks she is out with friends a lot. Some weekends she hangs around at home with me, other weekends she is barely home, even for sleeping time. We tend to meet up at various points throughout the day, since work, home and school are all within 300 yards or so.
I have to be on my toes in the following sense. With a 3yo being consistent is not really so hard. It seems hard at the time, but it pretty much boils down to sticking to a bedtime and insisting that icecream is not a breakfast food. With a 14yo, the issues are far more important and the child IS making her own decisions whether you like it or not. So, it is not a matter of insisting that you can't have icecream for breakfast, it is a matter of gently and over time giving her all the tools she will need to decide on her own. This has to be well considered and has to fit the personality and inclinations of the kid. She is also in the process of deciding about college, for example, and that requires serious research on my part, talking to friends etc. It is not a simple yes/no situation.
As far as the baby-adult, I stand by my original statement. It may not be true generally, but dd reasons quite well. The weakness is that she does not have the foundation upon which to reason, in all cases, because she is so very young. My job is to provide her with that foundation, in part by direct instruction, but in greater part by providing her with safe avenues for gaining the necessary experience. That is a lot harder than it was to provide her with the opportunity to learn how to tie her own shoes back when she was a toddler.
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however, many teachers don't even look at test scores until there is a problem with the student. Then we sometimes scratch our heads at the child who has managed to pass, but still doesn't have the skills needed. We come up with some sort of plan for them -- extra help, reinforcement at home, etc. to try to bring them up to speed.
Carole
In the district that I teach in I work in the middle school -- grades 6, 7 and 8. We are only ability grouped in math (can you imagine that EVERY parent thinks his/her kid belongs in the advanced group?) in 6th and 7th grade. In 8th grade they ability group for Math and English.
Social Studies, Sciences and Foreign Language (as well as their "specials") are not ability grouped. As such, we're used to teaching a wide range of learners and accomodating their needs. It is not uncommon to have several IDEA (gifted and talented) kids in a class with several special ed kids (all IEP'd) and then 18 "regular" kids. the IDEA kids are always going that extra step, making that extra connection, asking that far-out "why" question. The special ed kids are picking up the basics.
High school is compulsory here (at least, technically, until the child is 16) and the district I teach in has a rate of 95+ that go on to 4-year (and mostly prestigious) colleges and universities.
Carole
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