Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 5:25am

In our school district (the one that I teach in), math is ability group starting in our middle school (6th grade). They group by ability in math (did you know that EVERY parent thinks his/her kid should be in Advanced Math??) for 6-8th grade. They ability group in English and math for 8th grade.

As for helping those who don't have the necessary skills -- we do the best we can. We offer extra help both from teachers and aides in the building. We offer study and review sessions before quizzes and tests, etc.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 5:38am

sports activities, guitar lessons, singing/song-writing lessons, summer day camp for a few weeks, our yearly summer vacation, the occasional trip to FL to visit family, visits to museums, aquaria and zoos (none of which are cheap anymore), etc.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 5:40am

so all kids should get what they really WANT??? Mom as sah, cookies for breakfast, ice cream for lunch, etc.

FWIW, My kids HAD/HAVE me. Always. That's why I'm their MOM.

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 5:46am

completely agree. My 15 year old son changed his high school major (the school is either business/finance or science) from science to business/finance without even telling me, LOL! I found out when I was looking at his list of courses for next year that he had left on his desk.

He is after school Wed's for jazz band. Now on Tues. & Thurs. he's after school for extra help in Biology. He can occasionally go to the Boys & Girl's club for their Sat. night teen party (with his 16 year old cousin).

He loves spending time with both me and his dad (we're divorced), but is starting to create a social life that doesn't necessarily involve us (as I think it should be). Slowly, we have given him more responsibility as he gets older.

carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 5:49am

Do you have a teenager? When you take out homework, school, after school activities and sleeping, how much time do YOU have with him/her??? I imagine it's about the same amount of time that I have with mine, LOL!

Carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 6:17am
Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 6:20am
Why? The only criteria you set was that the child be able to reach out and grasp the object for it to be a "learning tool" for depth perception and fine motor skills. Lots of things fall into "learning tools" under that description. It's your definition; don't complain to me if it's suddenly failing you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 6:23am
Bwah!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 6:49am

<>

So how many years did your husband take off work?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 6:58am

Well, our little Yellie is that way. She wants who she wants, (although these days, she wants Daddy, so she's out of luck) when she wants them.

Am, on the other hand, has been a social maven since birth. He was happy no matter who held him. At that awkward age that babies call just about EVERY man DaDa, he did. Loudly. With arms outstretched and a smile of joy. He did the same thing later on with MaMa. The boy has simply never met a stranger. And he remembers business associates that my dh has brought home even from 18 months ago. Given the little guy isn't yet 4, it's almost scary. He was the easiest baby in the world to leave in the church nursery; he hooted for joy just walking down the hallway. And he hooted for joy when we returned home. And from all accounts, he hooted for joy when the ushers came to take attendance, too.

I have no doubts that Am would have been thrilled to go to daycare. How could he not, when there are PEOPLE!!! (MY FAVORITE!!!) there.

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