Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 8:35am
Right, that was where I was going with it, namely that it is always a leap and always a trust issue, no matter how old the child. Most parents do come to terms with it somewhere along the line, some earlier, some later. However, when parents express a lot of fear in this area, I do honestly wonder how they make the leap to send their kids to school, for example.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 8:43am
That sounds like a really nice solution, for all concerned.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 8:49am
It is not some sort of rule or anything, it has just evolved that way. As she has grown and has shown more initiative and maturity, she has naturally taken over more responsibility for herself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 8:53am

"If you work just for personal fulfillment, a nicer car, a bigger house, vacation or other various things then be proud and say so."


"Personal fulfillment" to me includes working in my chosen profession.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 8:57am

Do I get brownie points because my children each have a completely filled out baby book from birth to age 5?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 8:59am
Well, I like trusting and thereby being able to do something other than care for my children 24/7.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:00am
Do you ever go out with your DH without the children?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:02am

"Staying home can be mind numbing but its more important for me to KNOW that my child is in good hands than to just trust that he is. I sacrifice for them because I chose to give birth."


I'd rather trust than have my mind numbed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:03am
ROFL, no! But we may consider having you committed. I have a few notes scribbled in the margin of dd's medical record. I ran out of space when she was about a year. The notes are rather meagre.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:07am
Thank you for your lengthy and honest explanation.

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