Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:08am
Tae kwon do lessons, maybe piano lessons (would still keep them in swimming), summer camp, more debt at college graduation.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:11am
That's great it works for you, but not only did I never want more than 2 children, I couldn't have had widely spaced children because I didn't give birth for the first time until I was 34.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:13am

I choose to allow my children to become more expensive.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:14am
Excellent post.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:02am

I find it interesting that the three top districts in my area group by ability. Two do dual track and one does three tracks. The practice at my kids charter school is modeled after these, very successful, schools. Unfortunately, I can't afford to live in any of these districts. Well, I could afford one but it would leave me house poor with an hour plus commute to work every day and that is unacceptable.

The district I pulled my kids out of did not track. They claimed to meet the needs of students in the classroom yet failed to meet my kids needs or any of several families I know who pulled thier kids out. They do, however, have great state test scores. Teaching to the test will do that.

I find it interesting that something practiced by the best school districts around here is being argued against as a poor way to teach. Seems to work for my kids, the kids in their classes and the kids in three of our best districts.

Other districts track once kids are in high school but without the kind of success seen in the schools that track starting in elementary school. I'll stick with what works.

Edited to add:

http://www.ericdigests.org/pre-927/grouping.htm

"WHY USE ABILITY GROUPING?

In theory, ability grouping increases student achievement by reducing the disparity in student ability levels, and this increases the likelihood that teachers can provide instruction that is neither too easy nor too hard for most students. The assumption is that ability grouping allows the teacher (1) to increase the pace and raise the level of instruction for high achievers, and (2) to provide more individual attention, repetition, and review for low achievers. The high achievers benefit from having to compete with one another, and the low achievers benefit from not having to compete with their more able peers.

One of the main arguments against ability grouping is that the practice creates classes or groups of low achievers who are deprived of the example and stimulation provided by high achievers. Labeling students according to ability and assigning them to low-achievement groups may also communicate self-fulfilling low expectations. Further, groups with low performance often receive a lower quality of instruction than other groups. Slavin sees as the most compelling argument against ability grouping its creation of academic elites, a practice which goes against democratic ideals. "

Our school apears to use a blend of grouping strategies. In class grouping for math and reading, classes are multigrade to allow for level grouping vs. grade grouping but there is also a separate track for the more advanced students in a separate classroom. Kids used to be separated until 4th grade but now are separated until 7th grade when the gifted kids are mainstreamed and remain mainstreamed, with their needs being met individulally in the classroom until graduation.

The school seems to feel it's more important to meet the individual needs of younger students in the classroom and concentrates on meeting the individual needs of older kisd by equipping them to be self sufficient. This is backwards from the district we came from where kids aren't even identified as gifted until 4th grade and there is no separate track until high school. Our current school does have a separate track in the sense that there are advanced classes offered but those classes will have 9th-12th graders as they are by ability.




Edited 12/19/2006 12:17 pm ET by gr8fulmom1
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:13am

My daughter came into this school in 5th grade, literally, unable to write a coherent paragraph yet passed the state test for writing. I just scratched my head. I did some investigating and found out that in our old district, she was taught the 5 points she had to hit to pass the writing section BUT was never taught to actually write. Somehow, they bypassed that process and went right to what needs to be on the exam. Now she's writing well above grade level. Anyone want to bet that the fails the state exam this year?

I've talked to our principal about this section of the exam and she just shakes her head. She says that she has kids who write beautifully but fail the test. That's because they're not being taught the 5 points you need to hit to pass but rather being taught to write well. I hate the state exams. They're making our education system much worse. It's not about learning anymore. It's about your score.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:24am

while i'm not a real fan of state testing (and the consequent teaching to the test), I do sometimes have to wonder what all the fuss is about. The standards that the state tests for are standards that EACH child at that grade level should meet across a variety of subjects. They're age/grade applicable and things that they should have learned either that year or the year before.

In fact, the biggest problem that CT had with their test was that it used to be given in the fall. So, a 6th grader taking it in Sept. was actually being tested on what they learned in 5th grade. Now the test is in the spring and is a fairly good indication of the skills that the child either learned or need to practice more this year.

carole

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:27am

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Especially when a child can be held back a grade, despite receiving A's and B's on her report card, for failing to pass ONE test.

I personally know a child that this happened to. She was held back in third grade. She now has panic attacks every year before the exam. Her mother fought to have the decision to hold her back overturn, but the schools basically said unless you want her placed in the ESL program she cannot be sent forward (this was brought up because they are of Hispanic descent - though mother and daughter are American citizens - mom moved here when she was 5 - her children born here - and speak English as their first language).


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:30am

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I fuss because ONE bad day on ONE test can get a child held back a whole year in some states, including mine. Forget how hard the child worked in school the rest of the year. Forget about grades.




Edited 12/19/2006 11:34 am ET by piraterose

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 11:43am
It does.

 

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