Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:48pm

Nope I don't. I had my kids to raise them myself.

**Ah, you decided to do it the natural way as well! Very good for you.....

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:50pm

Yanno, my question throughout this thread has been "why don't the people working for extras and luxuries just come out and say what they think are extras and luxuries?"

That would have been a better approach, imo.

o

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:52pm
side note: The Murano is NOT huge. Please. Try the Yukon XL. That is huge. Love it too.
o

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:54pm
Are you the one positing the 128 hour thing so far as spending time with the kids is concerned? I'd like to know how this 128 hours is spent, if you don't mind telling us.
o

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 9:57pm

Are you aware of the title of the thread? For some reason, it has been turned into a multithread thread, which is fine, but the original post's meaning has been turned inside out even by the person who originated it.

I'd like to hear some answers on the OP from those who actually do work for extras and lifestyle.

o

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 10:01pm
OMgoodness! How much can her statement be twisted around? She did NOT say that. That is not about her personal satisfaction but about her witnessing the development of her child as the child discovers HER/HIS personal satisfaction. It doesn't matter one iota as to the time of day she is just glad to be there all the day long to share in the life of her child. Why don't others feel that is a useful relationship builder in a world where time is of the essence when it comes to our most indispensible resource---our children?
o

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 10:25pm
I don't think any one of these is worth the mom working out of the home for. I do think they are worth reanalyzing a household budget for.
o

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 10:26pm

<

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme...

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?>>

This is the original post (trimmed down). The original question is, as I comprehend it, why a nice car, house, good neighborhood is considered extras/lifestyle. What is considered an "extra" and what is considered a neccessity in order to support the notion of a dual-income family.

So really this question is not really directed at a WOHMM mom but to the person that believes these things are luxurious.

But to answer your question I work for neccessities and extras. My income is needed for the neccessities and the extras are the side benefit.

Neccessitites:
Owning my own dwelling (working towards a single family home - now live in a townhome)
A good neighborhood
Food
clothes
2 cars - hubby and I work in opposite directions 45 minutes each way. Even if I was SAH I wouldn't live with one car

Extras:
2 computers - both hubby and I are computer geeks 2 computers saves our marriage on a daily basis.(besides He's a PC and I'm a Mac
new cars versus used - almost of a necc. due to long commutes
the ability to visit my parents and sister (in another state) one or two times a year
My hubby to play on a novice hockey league
the future chance for my child to particpate in after school activities like dance classes or what not.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 10:30pm
I have two. They get their school work done before 12 noon usually. There is no homework, per se. I am with them the entire day until about 3 pm where they do things like go workout at the gym with their friends, visit with their friends at their homes or ours, take to the outdoors to any number of places on their horses, ATV's to the lake or on foot with their guns or what have you. Even then, it is not for long extended periods of time which they are gone. If it's just around here, I am usually with them or close by.....even if only a mic click away on the handset.
o

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Tue, 12-19-2006 - 10:32pm

Nothing is failing me but you can use that strawman approach all you like.

If a toy teaches anything to anyone, it can be used as an educational tool. Depth perception and fine/gross motor skills are so important to a young child. I am wondering why you are having such a difficult time accepting that.

o

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

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