Working for Lifestyle/Extras
Find a Conversation
| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

Pages
Jennie
<>
I would see that as a disservice. I have books that are horizontal to the level for my DD to "read" on her own but I also have books to read together that are beyond her abiltiy - that is why we read together - to expose her to new things. I see a combination of hoz & vertical the most beneficial.
My mom was VERY set into the age appropiate thing also - books, clothes, toys, movies . - The biggest one I remember was no Sweet Valley High until I was actually in high school - I did not see Star Wars until I was an adult because she did not see it as age approp. I'm not saying that these were educational - but I found because of my personal situation keeping me at age appropiate level stunted some of my ability to relate to my peers in high school - I was emotionally and socially very immature.
Jennie
as to chooseing a college- for me that is their responsibility. i will be here to give them my opinions and whatever help they need but it is not my job to decide where they will go to school. it is my feeling that if they do not choose they will not be happy and the chances of them sticking it out diminish
Jennie
It sounds like the problem isn't age appropriatness per se but that your mom didn't really understand it. The Sweet Valley High books seem to be aimed at middle school readers (even if the protagonists are in highschool) and Star Wars was never rated X so no reason to call it inappropriate for kids.
I tried reading books to dd that were beyond her ability but she couldn't follow the story line and just got bored and fidgety and wanted to go back to the younger books. I tried buying her toys for slightly older kids but she didn't understand how to use them and just wound up breaking or losing the pieces w/o ever actually using the toys. (Although putting game pieces inside boxes and under the couch does actually count as using, but still...). She does best with toys pitched at kids her age or slightly younger than her. So it all depends on the kid. Attention to age recommendations is not necessarily a bad thing if it's what works best for the kid. I learned the expensive way to go with those age labels.
<
**Of course not and that's not what I suggested.>>
This is what you wrote in your post. The way I read it, was that that you expected "your child" (sorry left that out) to do all the leg work alone - included campus visits.
<>
This comment, for me at least, contradicts the above statement
<<**My parents didn't do one thing to help me go to university. I went, sight unseen by them. This is one reason why we would never let our children go through it alone. That doesn't mean we have to pay for it all.>>
Edited 12/20/2006 2:15 pm ET by piraterose
Jennie
Jennie
I will agree with you that there is a difference between age appropiateness and particular child appropiate.
My 2 yo scoots about on her scooter marked 3 and up and she also correctly plays games such as Cariboo and Candy Land marked for 3 and up. That is her ability and it has nothing to do with her age per se.
I just get nervous when people start on the whole age appropriate thing and sticking to the "Horizontal" for age, because that was the mantra my mom toted. Doing "research" to me reads as more convcerned about labels and less about the child his or herself. I have a problem when someone starts in on on the whole it's for 2 and up so it's holds no benefit for a 12 month old (as long as it's not physically dangerous).
Edited 12/20/2006 2:21 pm ET by piraterose
Pages