Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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No. To be a woman and a mother. In this life and the next.
Thanks for asking! :)
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
We are equal and we believe his is a divine calling as well, with different responsibilities.
He has a lot of quality time with our children. He can take them to work if it's the choice of the day. OR He can take time off when he pleases. He is the boss. ;) We made choices in our life which enabled us to be available to our children. We are at their disposal during the time they are developing into adults.
Can't everyone decide for themselves what their future will be like?
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
I suppose it depends on what you consider to be normal working hours. My husband does a lot of his work while they are asleep but is home before 2 a.m. or so or spends the night in the city/town he's working in and is home in the morning either ready to spend the day at home or go back to work. It depends on what is going on with work.
I'm speaking from my experiences only. I don't really care one way or the other if a woman chooses to work outside the home. It is simply a matter of believing it doesn't have to be that way. By all means, if that is the choice of a woman, she has every right to that choice and I wouldn't demean her for it.
I found this board interesting because I did work out of the home for a while. I found my family was more important than the money I earned, regardless of how much it was.
I hope this doesn't turn into a "you are judging us!" thing. I am not doing that. I am speaking from my point of view only.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
How did you come up with the idea that in the US there is little choice but to work? SOME areas of the US do have a high COL, but many don't. There is absolutely NOT a demand to have two incomes.
Is there no truth to our society putting pressures on parents to live a certain way and creating the ideology which tells a family they need both parents to work? There are people living dirt poor in homestyle but their children have Xboxes, name brand clothing (at least around Christmas and tax time-thanks to those who give and those of us who pay their taxes for them)
" Today, that is not entirely the case."
You seem to have already said it was the case, though. Is it or were you generalizing a bit?
"Can you explain how the better educated a country is, the greater the need for both parents to work?"
It would seem if people were better educated that there would be no need for a second job since the one would be able to find adequate employment for the family. ??? I didn't understand it either and perhaps the poster will explain it before the end of the thread.
"Plus, I don't know of no sah children who enter Kindergarten or First Grade without some preschool. "
We know many families who wouldn't dream of placing their children into care. We wouldn't. Our youngest children will never know a child care setting.
Daycare/preschool is definitely a competitive business. In some states K4 is being implemented. They move from there to K5 and then to 1st grade. K has always been "pre-school". That is what it is for. It is a pre cursor to school. I think K attendance is a State issue, if I'm not mistaken.
"<>"
I know YOU didn't state this, but commenting here anyway. Which statistics are you using? I'd like to see them, if you don't mind.
"Well, I just disagree. In the US when the economy has better allowed for families to make the choice to live well on just 1 income, for example in the 1950s, more women chose to sah than they do today."
To me, it is a personal choice of "what do I want to be when I grow up" whether an individual is 13 or 38. There comes a time when we have to ask ourselves if we want to be working in the 7/11 for the rest of our lives with our wife working at the diner over there. Being fiscally responsible is something we need to teach our children from a young age. In the 1950's it was not customary for women to work out of the home. I believe it stems from Biblical teachings that the man was to be the breadwinner. I think today there is still room for this truth. With the 60's came the slack of moral and spiritual implications on our families ideas began to move away from home and family and place emphasis on the individual. Children were let loose, women went to work for various reasons, women began to "come into their own" so to speak and the family and home has been brushed by the wayside since. Father has not the meaning it once did and neither does mother. CHILDREN on the other hand seems to be a recurring theme and not that they shouldn't be at the forefront as they are our future, but what I'm saying is that it used to be known that mother and father had a great deal to teach. That is not the popular thinking of the day now.
I don't think many women even thought of working out of the home in the 1950's. They didn't need to think about it because men knew they had made a commitment and they honored it. They knew the best place for their children to have their mother was at home where she could help them when they needed the help and not after she was finished working.
Plus, we didn't use credit back then. Credit was a dirty word for those who couldn't afford things. About the only thing people put on "credit" was their home and a mortgage had by then become a traditional way of buying a modest home. Sears and Roebuck had a deep disdain for credit as did JC Penny. Amazing now to see Sears/Discover/Kmart being amongst the leaders of credit card apps nowadays.
It is CREDIT and the decline of morals which have brought us to where we are with mom's deciding whether to work or not.
The debtor is slave to the lender. That is just so true.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
When I reread my statement, I didn't see where it said that I thought women should only work for material items or money.
I have a college education which I paid for myself as I went to school.
Womanhood and motherhood alike are both divine callings for us all.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
I think my post was mis read or something. We live nicely but not extravagently and dh certainly wouldn't work tons overtime to support such a thing. He would, however, work more hours if we were saving up to buy something in particular. This is what I said.
I would have thought out of my post that people got that our children come first and as parents we are doing what we think is best in providing what they need at this time in their lives. I'm not judging anyone here. I'm simply here stating what we have done and what works for us.
I suppose I didn't place so much emphasis on him because I thought this thread was mainly about moms. I apologize for that. My mistake. I hope you will read my post wherein I clarified my beliefs on the topic you asked about.
Thanks.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
My education and work history lead me to believe sah simply can't be as intellectually stimulating as some jobs (and of course university courses)."
Excuse me for butting in here but......THAT is completely subjective. What would be considered intellectually stimulating by your standards? Aside from writing a best seller. ;)
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
new here and I certainly don't care what your background is. I applaud your post. Thanks for your insight!
:)
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
>>>>>It is CREDIT and the decline of morals which have brought us to where we are with mom's deciding whether to work or not. >>>>>
Do you actually believe what you typed? Neither credit or declining morals made me decide to work. More like my need to be a public health servant. I am a nurse and if you think there is a shortage now try telling all the nurses who are moms that should not work.
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