Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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Yeah, between the huge fistfight at the school and the shooting at the mall, I'd sell blood and collect cans before I'd send my kids to AMS or AHS.
Hey, speaking of Eastport, I made The Boatyard's meatloaf recipe that was in that "What's Up Annapolis" thing that comes to the house. I substituted ground turkey for the ground pork because I already
I'm ashamed to admit that I never read "What's Up." Actually, the most recent issue that came was the talk of the neighborhood as one of our neighbors was in it as one of Annapolis' most eligible bachelors. I would never have noticed but someone told dh so he fished it out of the recycling bag and showed it to me. It then became a huge deal at the magazine b/c said neighbor is in the midst of a very messy divorce (wife is alcholic/drug addict) and she freaked out and called the magazine claiming he is NOT single (technically of course).
I didn't even know What's Up had recipes in it - maybe I'll have to start looking at it.
I couldn't believe the shooting at the mall. I saw it on the local news, then later I had CNN on it was actually a story on CNN! My mom was telling me that her friends told her in the past that they were too afraid to shop in Bowie (Bowie Town Center has a lot of robberies believe it or not) and would shop at the mall instead. She has the last laugh. Of course, my mom was still shopping at Landover Mall until it finally closed. She'll shop anywhere for a bargain...
I HATE the mall - I rarely go there. However, every year for CHristmas I like to get ornaments at the kiosk there. I actually went last Saturday morning at 8:30 am, thinking it would be crowded being the second day of the official holiday shopping season. I had to go b/c I needed to get a gift for my sister who was visiting from OH. There was NO ONE there. I told dh that's the time to go - first thing on Saturday morning. I can't imagine how awful it's going to be this Christmas b/c so much parking is gone with all the new construction. Fortunately, I can find most of my gifts online or at other stores!
You aren't too far off.
Wow!
Hi.
I work. I have a 14 year old and an 8 year old. I work so that we can live in the better area of our city and our kids have a safer neighborhood to live in. I also work to have dependable transportation so I can take my kids to school, doctor and activities. I work so I can put them in the activities so they can explore their inner person so that they can find what they are good at and what they want their future to include. I work so that when my children are sick I can afford a GOOD doctor and all the meds they need not just some. I work to show my daughter a woman is not just a child bearing machine but can be a mother and a respectable and bright business woman as well. I work to show my son that we women are his equal and he is never to put a woman below him. I work to make them proud of who I am just as I am proud of who they are.
Now, with all that said.......I am married, my husband is a teacher. I work in a flexible position so I am afforded the opportunity to take off for games, plays, school outings and parties. I can take off to take my children to the doctor. I can call in to stay with the sick one. My husband can do the same and we both do. We both work, we give our children a comfortable, safe and structured life. However, we both never neglect what it means to be mom and dad. I am mom first. I will leave a hearing in a heartbeat to go get my son who falls and hits his head. I will cancel an appt. with a very important client to take my daughter to voice because she just wants me to be there that day. I make it a rule...always mom first. Yes, I work to have money, nice home, nice car, nice clothes, nice trips and so forth for all of us........shallow...so be it. But never has my job interferred with my 1st job and that is being their mom.
I, also being a single mother for the first 5 years of my daughter's life, understand that sometimes there are no options. I worked full time and went to law school full time the first 5 years of my daughter's life. Was I a bad mother, no.....was a mother who was busting her butt to get to a position in life where I can be the mother I am today. Was my daughter neglected from my time....yes, at times she was. However, during those five years, she never went hungery or homeless. She always had her necessities and wants. Then I met a wonderful man that gave me an option. I did not work for my son's first 5 years....I thank him everyday for that blessing he gave me. When my son went to school I went back to work part time then this year I have went back full time and he is 8. I look at my daughter today as a beautiful, talented, intelligent and strong 14 year old young woman and you know what......I didn't fail her, she hasn't suffered. I made her who she is by doing what I had to do. She thanks me for who she is and all I did. All working moms are not the same, this I understand well. Just please all you SAHMs understand (as I was you for 5 years) just because we work, we can still be a great mom. It just hurts to see a hard working mother condemnd for wanting to better her children's life. Every parent, mother, child and situation is different. Stop judging others by your situation.......we are all unique.
JD
Shoot! I thought for sure your sentence was going to end in you telling us that intellectual stimulation is hard to find hanging out with certain federal government contractors and employees.
The good news is that the long exposure thing you've suffered has probably only shaved off a few stray IQ points and that your sense of humor remains largely intact.
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