Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 10:35am
I think the weather would get me.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 10:36am

I have been wondering the same lately. I think it is time for the EU to encourage Americans to come on down! The US has a green card lottery for Europeans, we should reciprocate.

IME, many Americans are convinced that the Scandinavian countries are "socialist," and thus close to being like the old East Germany or something. It can be hard to convince them otherwise (cf: the comment in this thread about US democracy), in part because the system IS very different.

As for the rest of Europe, I have found that many Americans still think that where I live is some kind of coup and bomb-infested third world country.

In part, I think these negative attitudes towards Europe may rest on family memories of having left the bad old country for the new world. IOW, it is understandable, but still quite mistaken. Another side of it is simple ignorance. Americans are not alone in that, of course, plenty of Europeans equally imagine that the US is like the wild west, and that the KKK and the holy-rollers hold sway.

As far as Scandinavia, another thing is that these countries squarely and decisively favor the middleclass. If you are not middleclass or below, life may seem quite unfair. I still think people whine too much there, but being wealthy IS more difficult there than in the US, both building the wealth and keeping it. My father has gone into tax exile in France, and his brother would be down there too, if it were not that he is a single dad to a school-aged child. OTOH, I also know plenty of wealthy Danes who live and thrive somehow, especially among the younger generation (40 and under). But the bottom line is that all these generous family policies and the regulation of the labor market do make it more challenging to start a small business, for example.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 10:39am
That is one reason I do not live there, and I am not joking. OTOH, if you moved to Sweden from Minnesota, the weather in Sweden might seem like an improvement.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 10:41am
Thanks for that post.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 10:42am
I have to admit, I keep trying to find signs of the supposedly Socialist elements in Sweden. Outside of the state run liquor stores and pharmacies, there just isn't much (either economically socialist or politically socialist).
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 10:42am
I'm not joking about not liking winter either. I actually enjoy DC's hot and especially humid summers.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 10:50am

Oh, I know, but that is the most common conviction I run into among Americans, and the word 'socialist' seems to evoke the USSR for them.

The great irony to me is that these so-called socialist countries were some of the most stalwart US allies in the Cold War and that their armies and intelligence branches have remained hard right through it all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 11:01am
Lol....I live for winter. I hate the heat and humidity. Give me a snowstorm over a heatwave any day!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 11:04am

And I'd rather stick needles in my eyes than live anywhere with that kind of hot, humid weather. That day we met was already borderline for me. Even before I had a clue about Sweden I loved the idea of Scandinavia for the weather. Dh mentioned that in his interview and people thought he was laying on the blarney a bit too thickly :-). They were floored when I enthusiastically confirmed his claim.

Now the dark is something different...after 8 years I'm only just getting used to it and only because I have a ton of small lights and candles scattered throughout the house.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 11:10am
I just keep waiting for someone, anyone, to enlighten me on exactly how Sweden is more Socialist than supposedly non-Socialist countries. The current pension system is actually somewhat similar to what Bush wanted to do with social security, utilities are privately run (and have competition) as are telephone, cable, satellite and internet companies. There's a KING for goodness's sake! Other than having a nationalized health care (which England and Switzerland have as well and no one's ever called them "Socialist") I don't get where the idea comes from.

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