Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
I see how this board works now that I've read more.
I see you are deeply into the elementary grade approach to attempts at debate. Mirroring what I've said imposing your life and situation doesn't do a thing to justify what you do.
Sometimes, dh averages more than 80 hours a week, sometimes he averages 2. It depends on the workload and what he wants to do or what we have going on at home. That's what comes from good planning and owning a company and what's more, knowing how to work it to your advantage while providing a living not only for yourself but for your employees.
Children need consistency. Having mom at home keeps that consistency going. If a child's consistency is mom and dad working and spending fewer hours with them, I'm sure they adjust. I know they do. I did. My mom had to work. But that's not what this thread is about. This thread is about working for luxuries/extras.
If mom is working then she is not the person raising her children. Considering what age they are, she may be using help as in day care services, after school services and/or the child is a latchkey child which means they are raising themselves for a good amount of the time, unfortunately.
And my experience is 18 years with 5 children. Do I trump your 3 or what? My experience wasn't given to say I knew better than you for you but that I knew better for me. You are taking all of this way too personally. Because you keep attacking my posts with sarcasm, I've decided to just let you know how I feel it can be done. I'm here to stay and if you think I'm going to be the butt of your "Duggar" jokes on this board, you have another thing coming.
If you read my post you'd see that I said "on the whole". Are you suggesting that all the crime committed by the youth in this country is done by the children who are raised decently and good? I didn't say a thing about those who are decent and good. I was referring to the ones who aren't. There is a large problem with our youth in our country and I think it stems, in a large way, from mother being out of the home and in the work place when she doesn't have to be. Besides, I think those families who are raising the good and decent children and woh are fortunate or blinded to what may be going on in their own families.
You may be the best influence on your children but are you the only good influence? and how many good influences do they have in a day compared to those which are less than desirable? Do you even know? I do. And I'm in no way stating that my children have NO bad influences in their lives. they get plenty.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
Take it how you want. You don't know my intention except what I've stated and if you are going to twist my words to reflect your feelings which you are projecting on the board, I can hang with ignoring you.
Good to know!
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
If you think putting a child in dc or ps means you are raising your child you are sadly mistaken. Sadly.
I worked the industry for nearly 21 years. Everything from being an Au Pair to working day care/pre-school to owning my own businesses in that same industry for years.
A family can have a nice home, nice neighborhood and nice schools with mom at home with some planning, a lot of ambition and some education of any type in the bag.
So, if you find my statement a crock, prove to me that women MUST work. Please. I'd love to be proven wrong! I'm an college educated woman. I have a serious degree relating to the business world. I was the President of my OEA(now FBLA) in highschool for 2 years, I was Parliamentarian and Parli Pro Pres for several years and I won at state and national levels all four years in high school in several different areas. I was such the business woman in high school that I had my first year of college paid for before I went into the 12th grade and by the end of my Senior year, I had 12 scholarships in my portfolio. Mind you, that was what I won. I applied for probably quadruple that and those were the days when you pretty much typed everything on an electric IBM. Word Processing was fairly new then and that type processing is considered archaic by today's standards. I have been serious about having a career since I was very young. I believed that I was going to work for the rest of my life. It's ALL I wanted to do. I was going to have the corner office overlooking Wall Street. I was going to be single. I was going to have fun with it all! Then I met up with my husband and it all changed. I found my purpose in life. I found my familial background wasn't the crock I thought it had always been. I soon grew to understand why the old ways of raising families is the best way.
You keep putting your dice on that majority of moms woh because they have to and I'll keep a running tab on those things that people find to be necessities vs. NEEDS. I bet I'd win hands down.
You may have managed just fine working your 40 hours but how did your children fare? Truthfully? Have you asked them if they are at a point where you could get an honest answer from them? I hated that my mom began working. I still don't like to see her do it. It's just how she is. I respect it but I don't have to like it.
Simple, COL doesn't have to count if you move somewhere which your grade education would work in regards to it. You choose to live near your family. We purposefully choose not to for many reasons. One of which, we simply love the area of the country we live in and not so much back home.
LOL! I've been the primary wage earner for many years drawing in 6 figures almost from the getgo. I wanted to be only a sahm. So, my hubby helped me out. He loves it. It suits him and he found his niche in owning his business. and he's surpassed my income within the first 6 months. Made us wonder why we didn't try it sooner.
I never stated that I disagree with a woman's right to work. That would be disingenuous, considering my life and the women in my life who are my mentors. I simply think there is something more important for a woman to do than to work and I find it disingenuous to say that most women HAVE to work. It's simply not the case.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
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