Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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We know better than to be vain about it. It's simply our responsibility.
Good luck with that idea there.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
I've had dozens of people say that to me. Or the "oh how efficient" line. Yay...watch us on any given day getting out the door and tell me how efficient it is:)
One cannot be both explicit and general all at once.
Those are my feelings about it, sure. I still respect a woman's right to woh. Why are you negating my sentiments on the issue? I simply believe there is a better way to mother. Not to say we wouldn't all do the sahm thing differently but that it is the best place for mother to be for her children's well being, imo.
Notice, I haven't said it has to also be your opinion. Heck! If we agreed there wouldn't be much of a debate here, now would there be?
I do believe it is a natural part of being a mother to want to spend her time raising her children personally. She did have them after all. And quality time not just being in the same room.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
Sorry for responding so late.
"I know one CAN have children and scrimp and save and live paycheck to paycheck. But I just don't think this is a good way to raise kids. "
I know a few families whom are one step away from losing their homes because they are living paycheck to paycheck.
"If someone is just one layoff away from total financial ruin (loosing their house, no electricity, no food) then maybe having less children, having the other spouse working, or making oneself more employable would be the right thing to do."
I believe that one lady from one of the families I know, purposely loses her jobs so that she can stay at home.
Our children are at no disadvantage, I assure you.
Sure credit has been around but how was it viewed? Do you know? Those who used credit couldn't afford to pay. Not much different than today's terms except today, if you flash a credit card you feel powerful and people not in the know think you are even when you aren't really. Why? Plastic is fake and provides no real feel for the expenditure. Cash makes the expense real. A relationship with money should be emotional. Plastic takes the emotion away. As for being a convenience, it may be on the front end but rarely on the rear end to the majority of persons.
As for banks and being unsuspecting or unprepared. We are neither. We use cash for nearly everything. The only exceptions are commercial purchases which are paid on very short terms.
Thanks for the heads up on the program. I'll try to get it in. I have an avid interest in things like this.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
If I were american that might be normal for you people but since I'm not, i'm not worried about molestors in my family."
Oh get real my friend. This happened to me in the UK, my DH is Australian and its just as prevelant there. You think the US has *more* child abuse than other countries? Think again. And no one is *worried* about it before it happens...hence a big reason it can happen.
"DH owns his own business. He's not a bum. He knows it's a mans job to support the family--not the womans. He actually married me b/c I felt the same way. Imagine that! lol
Sad, sad, sad. I hope you don't pass that attitude to sons, or daughters. Oh and my husband isnt a bum, anymore than *you* are for being a SAHP....don't you agree?
"Actually my OB just told me today how refreshing it was to have a patient who doesn't whine and complain everytime they see him about one thing or another. So all the "drama" of having kids is all psychological sympathy driven by the mom. I'm sure my attitude will be the same 2 weeks from now when they are born as it is today. I'm not about DRAMA!!"
Yeah whatever. You are, perfection, I'm sure. I didnt whine one day of pregnancy. I was thrilled. It took us lots of work and I felt (and feel) blessed. I'm not about drama either (and hey, I don't need caps to make that point). I'm also not about sexist stereotypes...
And here's a hint...I actually have twins. They are 3.5. When I was *just* pregnant, I asked every twin parent I could find for advice. And still, I couldnt *imagine* how wonderful and challenging it would be. I said I'd breast feed for 3 months, I did it for 13 months my kids never had formula. I said I'd never let them watch a video. Baby Einstein was on at 5 months for an hour a day or so...I said I'd never sound like that cranky parent I saw at the grocery store...I do and did. I have never spanked, said I wouldnt, and won't. So some things you know, others you don't, many you learn. So just get real my rookie friend.
You can continue in the vein you are or you can accept that I have a different view than you and while I don't impose it on anyone, I will write about it on the sahm/woh debate board whether you like it or not. Take it as you will. I'm not in the business of validating feelings for you or anyone else.
The crock is overflowing with all the rhetoric on this thread attempting to explain why a mom should woh to provide that which while may be nice could never replace her precious time with her children.
No room for what I have to say, thanks.
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
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