Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 12:29am
I neither approve nor disapprove. It's not my call. It is what they do and it works for them. I'll tell you though, they both (my mom and my little sister--my bf) wish they could be at home albeit they enjoy their work immensely and at these points in their lives have to work.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 12:31am
Somewhat OT, but I had to LOL reading your post, because it reminded me of a similar debate I had with a poster on one of these boards years back. She insisted that the taxes in European countries would cause people to lose interest in working because they couldn't make any money. At the time, I was negotiating a license agreement with a European drug company, fighting over royalties, and I kept thinking of telling them "oh c'mon, you know money doesn't mean anything to you guys!". How do you think that argument would fly???
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 12:33am
Why is it passe, in your opinion?

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 12:36am
Well, speaking for myself, because it is cold and dark and they speak Swedish. Otherwise, I think it would be wonderful!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 12:36am

I suppose you don't need to keep reminding me that women work for other things than the nice things in life because I stated that on the outset of my adventure here. However, it might be good to remind you that we are currently on a thread which is about working for lifestyle and extras...those aren't the necessities.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 12:43am
Our oldest daughter knows she can do anything she wants. She is an honor roll student and looking to be a member of the academic Greek system in her Junior year. We have taught her that she can be all she can be and right now she is already weighing her options. I know she knows she can be all she wants to be and still be a sahm. I'm proof.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 12:54am

Yes... but can't you see that when you say that SAH is the *best* place to be that you automatically put a judgment on WOH being inferior to the best.

There is a best situation for everything. They are called ideals. Surely, you aren't going to suggest that striving for the ideal is wrong, are you? Do you seriously think the ideal for any child is to be raised by someone other than their own parent--given we are speaking about a regular family who isn't harming a child. ( I am not getting into the worst case scenarios here)

As I stated to another poster: I'm not here to validate your feelings. If you feel that way it is because YOU feel that way not because of something I've said. Nothing I've read here has invalidated what I feel or do. There have been a few snide remarks but I figure that's just how you all welcome people around here. lol.

I said that what I was doing was best for me noting I had ideas about sahm vs. woh. Everyone on your side jumped on me advocating I had stated things I didn't and saying I was judging. Well, now you have me advocating what I feel about it more strongly and I'll stand by it. I'll stand by my moral issues and advocate them as being the ideal for all children as I said: given there is the good home environment. I think woh do the very best they can for their families. Also, I think if they stayed home they could find a higher best in themselves to give to their children and family.

It's what I think. I'm not asking you to do it.

Okay, I did say that woh is not the best. So, I give you a point. I did say it was something in particular. Not the best for the child in reference to woh/sahm.

ETS: I replaced "implicate" with "say". I'm not sure why I used implicate. Thanks!




Edited 12/1/2006 1:23 am ET by phoenixrising687

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:06am
This thread isn't about working for the money to keep the house in order. It's about working to provide the extras.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:17am

The 10-day forecast for weather in Stockholm is mid-40s--basically comparable to that forecast for DC for the same time period once that cold front comes through over the weekend. (Weather.com) And the lowest "low" I saw in that time period is 38.

Of course, it's supposed to rain the whole time, too.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:25am
Yeah, but you have to realise that this is one of the warmest Novembers on record. It should be about 25-35 degrees and snowing throughout most of Sweden at this point. I can't get over the fact that I can still walk out of the house without a coat and the kids are mostly still wearing sweaters. They should be snowsuits by this point (not that I'm complaining....less snow to shovel :-)).

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