Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:36am

Certainly! I maintain that women don't "have" to work. I believe fully that they are forced to by circumstances which may or may not be in their control. I think a lot of the reasons women end up working are due to circumstances which could have been prevented.

Tangent away! ;)

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:37am

I don't need to "replace" any time with my children, but thanks anyway.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:38am
So what do your mother and sister say when you tell them that because they WOH, they didn't and aren't raising their own children?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:40am
Because guilt about parents using othercare is not productive or helpful in any way.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:41am
Men work for lifestyle and extras.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:42am
You can't have a career if you're a SAHM.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:49am

"Do you seriously think the ideal for any child is to be raised by someone other than their own parent--given we are speaking about a regular family who isn't harming a child."


Yes, in my family it is ideal, because I count as a person in our family, not just the children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:53am

As the mother *I* choose my child's environment and who cares for my child and how.

No, you don't choose your child's environment, who cares for your child or how. The person caring for your child does. You may leave thinking it's what you see but you never know, or do you?

If you've read my posts, you would know my dh is actively involved in the raising of our children. There is a difference between leaving your children with other care vs. leaving a child with it's own parent who survives on the same moral values as the other parent not to mention having the same goals and aspirations concerning the raising of the children they're parenting.

I can and will state that sah is best for me. I don't have a problem with wohm. It is their choice. I simply happen to think there is a better way to parent. If I didn't state my ideas, you wouldn't have much to debate.

What difference does it make if she really has to work? If a mom has to work it's still less than ideal, but what choice does she have? I'm talking about moms who do it for extras as the title of the thread illustrates. I still maintain children are adversely affected by mother's absence regardless if it's forced or obliged.

"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:55am
I think men on the whole are less willing to be flexible in their job, or their job's hours, and still regard the bulk of the parenting as the mother's job.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:58am

I fully acknowledge that I WOH by choice, not by necessity.

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