Working for Lifestyle/Extras

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Working for Lifestyle/Extras
3621
Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am

Hi Ladies :)

This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.

Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.

Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.

I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?

Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?

So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?

Thanks all :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:34pm

I guess I missed where someone said you were trying to make your opinion ours/theirs.

The point is, you didn't say that you think your way is the best way for your family. You said that it is the right way, period. That is judgemental. I'm not negating your opinion, but if you think that you can have that opinion and ALSO have everyone agree that you are not being judgemental, you're sorely mistaken. You can't have your cake and eat it too. And people thinking that your opinion is a load of doody is not negating anything, it's called *disagreeing* with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:41pm
Ok. Euuuwwww. Just eeuuuwwww. Few things raise my hackles like squeeze cheese. It is just so wrong on so many levels. And of course, DS loves it. BLECH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:46pm
LOL, which begs the question, how did your DS find out about it in the first place? From some DCP who does not survive on the same moral values as you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2006
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:47pm

Oh, such irony.. I can't take it! Overflowing with rhetoric, LOL! I'm still not understanding what you think should be happening here. I can think of some scenarios.... 1. You thought that you would post your opinion, and everyone would agree with you. 2. You thought you would post your opinion, and everyone who previously thought differently would fall over themselves, never before actually thinking about their situation. 3. You thought that you would post your opinion, and even though many disagree, you thought noone would respond in any way, because that's not what people do on debate boards... oh... wait.

None of those is realistic. So, what do you think the "proper" response to you would be, if none of what has been posted is ok IYO? If you didn't want any response at all beyond total agreement, why did you even bother coming to a debate board in the first place?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 1:58pm
He goes to school 5 afternoons a week from 12:30-3:30, so if he has to be in the gym daycare from 8-11, I feel horrible for him. It just seems like so much time away from a parent. I had a little girl here yesterday from 7:45-5:30, I was only supposed to have her until 9:20 when the bus should have come but school got cancelled and mom calls me to see if I can cover the whole day. Of course I said yes, we need to help our fellow humans when we can, but it seemed like such a very long time for a separation. I just can't imagine not seeing my kid for all those hours. I know in my brain that kids are fine in daycare, but my gut just doesn't feel right about it. I just can't do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 2:00pm

What about what is best for society and the world at large?


My ob/gyn is a woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-1999
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 2:06pm

I wonder if seeking othercare for children while doing things like getting a haircut or going to the doctor is also "abdicating responsibility."


I always felt that after raising twins, my parents were probably more capable than myself when it came to watching DS. And certainly the time he spent w/my parents was precious, more than ever

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 2:10pm
I like summer too! I just like it at 65 with sun and no humidity. 90-100 with humidty, just sucked, IMO!

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 2:20pm

"sahms carry those fancy bags,save for junior's complete ride through college,too. share something a sahm does not know is all i'm challenging!!"

Nobody said that sahms don't buy fancy bags and save for college. But only the ones who are upper middle class or wealthy would have the money to buy expensive shoes and save for a full ride through college. You are in that position, and tinder is, but many sahms are not. And many wohms would not be if they quit their job to sah. I thought everyone here understood that. Are we all clear now? Anyone need to dispute that a family with only one income earner is not able to buy expensive things and save for full ride to college, if they do not have plenty of disposable income???????????????

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2003
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 2:23pm
I swear every time we leave the kids with my folks for an out of town trip one of them ends up violently ill. We always joke at how much better it is that they are with a doctor and an RN instead of their lousy old parents who wouldn't know what the hell to do ;)

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