Working for Lifestyle/Extras
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| Mon, 11-20-2006 - 11:13am |
Hi Ladies :)
This is my first time on this debate board and I have been dying to jump into some of the topics, but I feel as though they are sooooo long (one in particular is over 1000 replies, yikes!) that starting my own specific one might work out better.
Anyhow, a recurring theme here seems to be what Moms should and shouldn't be going to work for. It seems some are of the opinion that is OK for Mom to work if she must to pay her bills but NOT if its to afford a nice car, house, good neighborhood. This is considered keeping up with the Johnses (who are they???) and thats bad.
Well, I want to know what in the heck is wrong with a women working to have nice things? I don't mean working and leaving baby in child care 16 hours a day, everyday...thats pretty extreme.
I enjoyed a certain lifestyle before having a child, should I have downsized that lifestyle once baby came so I didn't have to work? What about me *wanting* to maintain a certain lifestyle for myself, my husband, and my child makes me a (a) workaholic or (b) striving to keep up with the Joneses?
Don't some people (like myself) simply enjoy living in a nice place with nice things and want their children to have the same experience?
So please, anyone who thinks a women is wrong for WOH if she is not doing so to financially survive but does it to maintain a certain lifestyle...whats wrong with this?
Thanks all :)

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The crock is overflowing with all the rhetoric on this thread attempting to explain why a mom should woh to provide that which while may be nice could never replace her precious time with her children. "
I am curios as to when you post, why it doesn't tell just HOW many post you have posted on a particular board? Perhaps your ashamed? I mean you are get bantering on and on about how us WOHM aren't rasing our children because we are at work, well tell me who is raising your child while you are on the computer?
JD
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>>She said she felt it was the best place for mom to be. So what? I think it is best that my children go to our neighborhood school.<<
The difference is, you didn't say you think it is best for children to go to their neighborhood school, you said it's best for YOUR children. She didn't say that SAH is the best place for HER to be, she said it's the best place for MOMS to be. Don't tell me you can't see the distinction.
>>That goes both ways and to think it doesn't it just ridiculous. Wanna know how many times it has been insinuated that WOHM are showing their DD how to be independent and not depend on a man?<<
The fact that some people have said insulting things doesn't negate that what others say is also insulting.
>>Again you are forgetting she said she BELIEVED...that is HER opinion. She isn't stating anything as fact.<<
Noone is forgetting that. Debate IS debating opinions. You can't debate actual facts.
And while I have said that my DH is away from home about 60 hours per week (working about 50, commuting about 10), that was true before we had a child, before I got pregnant, and before we had even discussed having children. Many salaried jobs require this type of time commitment--or more--and I think many parents choose to SAH BECAUSE of the long hours their spouses work, and perhaps have to work for their careers."
I am really confused at how you SAHM advocates can try and argue that staying at home is the best for children when your husbands work over 40 hours a week. So, does that mean these dads that are gone for 60+ hours a week are crappy dads....by the definitions here, I think so. There is ZERO substitute for family. Family is not mom and kids with dad absent at work. Quality family time is the foundation of life for children. I am glad that my kids can say when they get home from school they have mom AND DAD to share their day with instead of "yeah well my mom didn't work while I was growing up but I never saw my dad." How in the world can you say that is BEST for the kids? My husband and I split the financial burden of the family so that we can celebrate the reason we have a family and that is togetherness, spending quality times together be it playing board games at night or having a nice FAMILY dinner together. I wonder how many nights these SAHMs have to get the kids up and tuck them in and how many night the dads are actually there to see either. How many meals do you have as a FAMILY unit, can't be many when a person works that much. Also, just having a mom at home is no substitute for having a complete family at home when the kids are home. Both of my children are in school 9th grader and 2nd grader and my husband I saw that we took the care in planning our careers and futures together that we could both be home when the kids got home so that we coule yes (gasp) have nice things and give the kids the luxuries they wanted AND still have time to go out as a family and have EVERY dinner time TOGETHER. We never have dinner apart, it is our rule. Dinner is a time we come together and discuss our days and thoughts on things. So, I guess my poor babies should feel neglected because mommy works huh? Well, what about your children that has a part time dad so YOU can stay home? I give my kids the best of both worlds....but, that takes thought and planning which I compliment me and my husband for having the sense to do before we had children. He is a teacher and I a lawyer........my children are socially, emotionally, physicall, psychologically and materially spoiled........SO, chalk me up as a bad mom, I will wear that title with pride everytime I sign a straight A report card, or cheer for a touchdown, or give a standing ovation to my teenage daughter as she finishes a lead in a play, or say their prayers with them at night and I will wear it well everytime they hug me and tell me "Mom, your the best." Say what you want, but my kids have a wonderful self worth and life regardless of my working or not.
JD
Grandma. So yeah--one of my favorite babysitters! And me a SAHM! The shame! LMAO.
Seriously though, my mom loved that stuff on crackers. I just don't feel the love...
Clearly you're new or you'd know what tired arguement that is. Plus, now some MSAHM is going to ask how the WOHMs can post 1000+ posts from their jobs. And there we go again. It's all rather tiresome when you've BTDT a million times.
However, since you asked for it, my DH is home b/c of inclement weather (8 inches of snow and sleet), which is affording me to opportunity to spend more time than usual on the 'puter today while he shovels the driveway and DS plays in the snow. I'm pregnant and high risk, so no
"Besides this we have our living prophet, for whom I am grateful, and I hope to follow after him all the days of my life.&
I agree. Why do you think that is? And do most men change if women insist that they be just as flexible? or do marriage and birthrates simply decrease like they have in many European countries?
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